{"id":38493,"date":"2021-09-03T11:49:37","date_gmt":"2021-09-03T15:49:37","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.staging4.blunt-therapy.com\/?p=38493"},"modified":"2021-12-14T00:11:37","modified_gmt":"2021-12-14T05:11:37","slug":"how-to-help-someone-with-a-drug-problem","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.blunt-therapy.com\/how-to-help-someone-with-a-drug-problem\/","title":{"rendered":"How to Help Someone with A Drug Problem (and Keep Your Sanity)"},"content":{"rendered":"<div id=\"ez-toc-container\" class=\"ez-toc-v2_0_65 counter-hierarchy ez-toc-counter ez-toc-custom ez-toc-container-direction\">\n<div class=\"ez-toc-title-container\">\n<p class=\"ez-toc-title \" >Table of Contents<\/p>\n<span class=\"ez-toc-title-toggle\"><\/span><\/div>\n<nav><ul class='ez-toc-list ez-toc-list-level-1 ' ><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-1\" href=\"https:\/\/www.blunt-therapy.com\/how-to-help-someone-with-a-drug-problem\/#How_To_Help_Someone_With_A_Drug_Problem\" title=\"How To Help Someone With A Drug Problem\">How To Help Someone With A Drug Problem<\/a><ul class='ez-toc-list-level-3' ><li class='ez-toc-heading-level-3'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-2\" href=\"https:\/\/www.blunt-therapy.com\/how-to-help-someone-with-a-drug-problem\/#The_DOs\" title=\"The DO\u2019s\">The DO\u2019s<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-3'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-3\" href=\"https:\/\/www.blunt-therapy.com\/how-to-help-someone-with-a-drug-problem\/#The_DONTs\" title=\"The DON\u2019Ts\">The DON\u2019Ts<\/a><\/li><\/ul><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-4\" href=\"https:\/\/www.blunt-therapy.com\/how-to-help-someone-with-a-drug-problem\/#Final_Thoughts\" title=\"Final Thoughts\">Final Thoughts<\/a><ul class='ez-toc-list-level-3' ><li class='ez-toc-heading-level-3'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-5\" href=\"https:\/\/www.blunt-therapy.com\/how-to-help-someone-with-a-drug-problem\/#Resources\" title=\"Resources &nbsp;&nbsp;\">Resources &nbsp;&nbsp;<\/a><\/li><\/ul><\/li><\/ul><\/nav><\/div>\n\n<p>Maybe it\u2019s your kid. Maybe it\u2019s a friend or teacher. It\u2019s someone near you, anyway, and all you know is their personality has changed.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Now they lie and steal money and care little about the fact that they\u2019re breaking your heart.&nbsp; Sometimes you support them just to keep things calm, sometimes you stand up to stop it, but there\u2019s part of you that\u2019s mortified, and there\u2019s another part that\u2019s angry, and sometimes you say all the right things in the wrong way. You\u2019re exhausted.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Sound familiar? If you care about someone with a <a href=\"https:\/\/www.blunt-therapy.com\/i-have-a-problem-with-alcohol\/\" data-type=\"post\" data-id=\"6771\">drug or alcohol problem<\/a>, you know more than anyone how it goes: There\u2019s no easy solution. However, there are things you can do \u2013 and things you probably shouldn\u2019t.&nbsp; You\u2019ll find a list of DOs and DONTs below.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-image\"><figure class=\"aligncenter size-full is-resized\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" src=\"data:image\/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP\/\/\/yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7\" data-src=\"https:\/\/www.blunt-therapy.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/How-to-Help-Someone-with-A-Drug-Problem-and-Keep-Your-Sanity-Pinterest.jpg\" alt=\"How to Help Someone with A Drug Problem (and Keep Your Sanity) Pinterest\" class=\"wp-image-38497 lazyload\" width=\"400\" height=\"600\"\/><noscript><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/www.blunt-therapy.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/How-to-Help-Someone-with-A-Drug-Problem-and-Keep-Your-Sanity-Pinterest.jpg\" alt=\"How to Help Someone with A Drug Problem (and Keep Your Sanity) Pinterest\" class=\"wp-image-38497 lazyload\" width=\"400\" height=\"600\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.blunt-therapy.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/How-to-Help-Someone-with-A-Drug-Problem-and-Keep-Your-Sanity-Pinterest.jpg 1000w, https:\/\/www.blunt-therapy.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/How-to-Help-Someone-with-A-Drug-Problem-and-Keep-Your-Sanity-Pinterest-83x125.jpg 83w, https:\/\/www.blunt-therapy.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/How-to-Help-Someone-with-A-Drug-Problem-and-Keep-Your-Sanity-Pinterest-200x300.jpg 200w, https:\/\/www.blunt-therapy.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/How-to-Help-Someone-with-A-Drug-Problem-and-Keep-Your-Sanity-Pinterest-150x225.jpg 150w, https:\/\/www.blunt-therapy.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/How-to-Help-Someone-with-A-Drug-Problem-and-Keep-Your-Sanity-Pinterest-768x1152.jpg 768w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 400px) 100vw, 400px\" \/><\/noscript><figcaption>How to Help Someone with A Drug Problem (and Keep Your Sanity)<\/figcaption><\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"How_To_Help_Someone_With_A_Drug_Problem\"><\/span>How To Help Someone With A Drug Problem<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"The_DOs\"><\/span>The DO\u2019s<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h3>\n\n\n\n<h4 class=\"wp-block-heading\">Set boundaries. <\/h4>\n\n\n\n<p>Boundaries are meant to help you protect yourself, do what\u2019s best for the <a href=\"https:\/\/www.blunt-therapy.com\/category\/substance-abuse\/\">addict<\/a> (even though they might not see it that way), and improve the health of the relationship.&nbsp; <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>For some, boundaries mean no contact.&nbsp; For others, that means forbidding drugs in the house, expecting rent, requiring random drug tests, or understanding there is to be no talk about illegal substances with siblings.&nbsp; For still others, it means not posting bond or paying their debt. However, no matter what the case, don\u2019t use boundaries to punish or shame.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>do Offer advice carefully.<strong>&nbsp;<\/strong> Make your recommendations more powerful by making simple, direct statements rather than prolonged lectures.&nbsp; It\u2019ll be tempting to say it all, and there\u2019s a lot to say, but focus on the important parts. The less said, the more it&#8217;s heard.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h4 class=\"wp-block-heading\">Promote Abstinence.<\/h4>\n\n\n\n<p>Enable sobriety. If reasonable, offer rides to doctors\u2019 appointments, support groups, twelve-step programs, rehabilitation, and anything else that promotes recovery.&nbsp; <a href=\"https:\/\/www.blunt-therapy.com\/how-to-prepare-for-an-intervention\/\" data-type=\"post\" data-id=\"27977\">If your friend or family member is trying not to use<\/a>, congratulate them for each new day they stay sober.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h4 class=\"wp-block-heading\">Encourage small steps.&nbsp; <\/h4>\n\n\n\n<p>Invest your energy in the short term. Think small goals. Focus on helping your loved one stay clean and pursue treatment \u2013 before insisting they get a job, go back to school, or start saving up for an apartment.&nbsp; <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Adjust your expectations according to &#8220;where they are&#8221; and applaud efforts and achievements.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h4 class=\"wp-block-heading\">Remind Them To See Their Doctor. <\/h4>\n\n\n\n<p>It\u2019s hard to beat something as big as addiction when one is struggling with depression, diabetes, chronic pain, toothache, and other problems. Encourage your loved one to get treatment and take their medications. But rather than pay high dollar for their care, have them search online for free and low-cost medical <a class=\"wpil_keyword_link \" title=\"resources\" data-wpil-keyword-link=\"linked\" href=\"https:\/\/www.blunt-therapy.com\/resources\/\">resources<\/a>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h4 class=\"wp-block-heading\">Take care of yourself.&nbsp; <\/h4>\n\n\n\n<p>This one is vital. Put yourself first. Find time to do things that have nothing to do with addiction.&nbsp; <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>If there\u2019s no room for <em>you<\/em>, if your loved one\u2019s problem has taken over your life, it\u2019s time to tighten your boundaries. Invest time in yourself. If things are bad,<a href=\"https:\/\/www.blunt-therapy.com\/betterhelp-counseling-review\/\" data-type=\"post\" data-id=\"19274\"> touch bases with a psychotherapist<\/a> to separate yourself from their problem.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"The_DONTs\"><\/span>The DON\u2019Ts<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h3>\n\n\n\n<h4 class=\"wp-block-heading\">don\u2019t ridicule or threaten.<strong>&nbsp;<\/strong> <\/h4>\n\n\n\n<p>You\u2019ll be angry or hurt at times, but avoid taking it out on the person who is using. Criticizing, yelling, and <a href=\"https:\/\/www.blunt-therapy.com\/recognize-abusive-relationships\/\">violence<\/a> only push them farther away from you and bury them deeper in their addiction.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h4 class=\"wp-block-heading\">Don\u2019t help them use drugs. <\/h4>\n\n\n\n<p>Don\u2019t enable addiction.&nbsp;This means don\u2019t make excuses for them. Don\u2019t pay for their mistakes.&nbsp;Don&#8217;t shield the addict from their <a href=\"https:\/\/www.blunt-therapy.com\/myths-about-addiction\/\" data-type=\"post\" data-id=\"13930\">addiction<\/a>. People are more likely to change if they aren&#8217;t rescued from the negative consequences of their actions.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h4 class=\"wp-block-heading\">don\u2019t WORK HARDER THAN THEY DO<strong>.&nbsp;<\/strong> <\/h4>\n\n\n\n<p>Look at what your loved one is doing (and not doing) to pursue recovery, and match their efforts \u2013 and do nothing more.&nbsp;Don&#8217;t spin your wheels.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>It\u2019s important you don\u2019t take responsibility for their recovery.&nbsp; It\u2019s up to them to avoid triggers, deal with the consequences of drug use, and seek out rehab. If you do match their efforts, don\u2019t <em>do<\/em> things for the addict but instead show them <em>how<\/em> to do these things. You can assist if they need it, but make sure they carry the reins in the process.&nbsp; Never work harder than they do.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h4 class=\"wp-block-heading\">don\u2019t offer cash, cars, and hotel ROOMS. <\/h4>\n\n\n\n<p>If you want to provide financial support, buy low-cost goods instead of providing money and expensive items. Gift cards for small amounts at the local supermarket might be an option.&nbsp;If your loved one is serious about recovery, share food, buy them a couple shirts, and show them how to look for a job. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>If they have many needs, have them research community <em>resources <\/em>online<em>. <\/em>&nbsp;But don\u2019t give them cash, cars, hotel rooms, and other items they can use to feed their addiction. &nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-embed is-type-video is-provider-youtube wp-block-embed-youtube wp-embed-aspect-16-9 wp-has-aspect-ratio\"><div class=\"wp-block-embed__wrapper\">\n<iframe class=\"lazyload\" title=\"The dos and don\u2019ts of helping a drug addict recover | Maia Szalavitz | Big Think\" width=\"1170\" height=\"658\" data-src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/DeCY1sj06Qo?feature=oembed\" frameborder=\"0\" allow=\"accelerometer; autoplay; clipboard-write; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture\" allowfullscreen><\/iframe>\n<\/div><figcaption>The dos and don\u2019ts of helping a <a href=\"https:\/\/www.blunt-therapy.com\/alcohol-abuse-in-zambia\/\">drug addict<\/a> recover. Courtesy, YouTube.<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Final_Thoughts\"><\/span>Final Thoughts<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>Caring about someone with an addiction can drain you.&nbsp; But there are ways to engage with them in a healthy way.&nbsp; <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>It\u2019s a careful balance: plan to encourage independence and promote sobriety while setting healthy limits and taking care of yourself.\u00a0 If they need assistance, never put in more effort than they do. If they\u2019re not ready to accept help, just leave the proverbial light on until your friend or family member is ready to come home.<\/p>\n\n\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Resources\"><\/span>Resources &nbsp;&nbsp;<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p>For more information, check out <a href=\"https:\/\/kimrosenthalmd.com\/substance-use-addiction\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Questions about substance abuse and addiction<\/a>.&nbsp; The <a href=\"https:\/\/www.drugabuse.gov\/related-topics\/treatment\/what-to-do-if-your-adult-friend-or-loved-one-has-problem-drugs\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">National Institute of Drug Abuse <\/a>also has great articles for helping a loved one with addiction.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><em>Need more recovery material? Check out <a href=\"https:\/\/kimrosenthalmd.com\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">kimrosenthalmd.com<\/a>, home to more than 100 articles and a gaggle of low-cost and free booklets.&nbsp; Please visit and hang out a while!<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>If you want to learn how to help someone with a drug problem (without losing your mind), Psychiatrist Kim Rosenthal gives you the do&#8217;s and don&#8217;ts that you need to know.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":34,"featured_media":38495,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","ub_ctt_via":"","_lmt_disableupdate":"no","_lmt_disable":"no","footnotes":""},"categories":[41],"tags":[774,140,885,805,42],"featured_image_src":"https:\/\/www.blunt-therapy.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/How-to-Help-Someone-with-A-Drug-Problem-and-Keep-Your-Sanity.jpg","author_info":{"display_name":"Kim Rosenthal, M.D.","author_link":"https:\/\/www.blunt-therapy.com\/author\/kim-rosenthal\/"},"modified_by":"Randy Withers, LCMHC","uagb_featured_image_src":{"full":["https:\/\/www.blunt-therapy.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/How-to-Help-Someone-with-A-Drug-Problem-and-Keep-Your-Sanity.jpg",800,450,false],"thumbnail":["https:\/\/www.blunt-therapy.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/How-to-Help-Someone-with-A-Drug-Problem-and-Keep-Your-Sanity-150x84.jpg",150,84,true],"medium":["https:\/\/www.blunt-therapy.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/How-to-Help-Someone-with-A-Drug-Problem-and-Keep-Your-Sanity-200x113.jpg",200,113,true],"medium_large":["https:\/\/www.blunt-therapy.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/How-to-Help-Someone-with-A-Drug-Problem-and-Keep-Your-Sanity-768x432.jpg",768,432,true],"large":["https:\/\/www.blunt-therapy.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/How-to-Help-Someone-with-A-Drug-Problem-and-Keep-Your-Sanity-400x225.jpg",400,225,true],"1536x1536":["https:\/\/www.blunt-therapy.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/How-to-Help-Someone-with-A-Drug-Problem-and-Keep-Your-Sanity.jpg",800,450,false],"2048x2048":["https:\/\/www.blunt-therapy.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/How-to-Help-Someone-with-A-Drug-Problem-and-Keep-Your-Sanity.jpg",800,450,false],"tiny":["https:\/\/www.blunt-therapy.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/How-to-Help-Someone-with-A-Drug-Problem-and-Keep-Your-Sanity.jpg",60,34,false],"thumbnail-medium":["https:\/\/www.blunt-therapy.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/How-to-Help-Someone-with-A-Drug-Problem-and-Keep-Your-Sanity.jpg",480,270,false],"thumbnail-square":["https:\/\/www.blunt-therapy.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/How-to-Help-Someone-with-A-Drug-Problem-and-Keep-Your-Sanity.jpg",480,270,false],"thumbnail-portrait":["https:\/\/www.blunt-therapy.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/How-to-Help-Someone-with-A-Drug-Problem-and-Keep-Your-Sanity.jpg",480,270,false],"thumbnail-large":["https:\/\/www.blunt-therapy.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/How-to-Help-Someone-with-A-Drug-Problem-and-Keep-Your-Sanity.jpg",720,405,false]},"uagb_author_info":{"display_name":"Kim Rosenthal, M.D.","author_link":"https:\/\/www.blunt-therapy.com\/author\/kim-rosenthal\/"},"uagb_comment_info":1,"uagb_excerpt":"If you want to learn how to help someone with a drug problem (without losing your mind), Psychiatrist Kim Rosenthal gives you the do's and don'ts that you need to know.","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.blunt-therapy.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/38493"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.blunt-therapy.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.blunt-therapy.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.blunt-therapy.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/34"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.blunt-therapy.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=38493"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.blunt-therapy.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/38493\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.blunt-therapy.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/38495"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.blunt-therapy.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=38493"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.blunt-therapy.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=38493"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.blunt-therapy.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=38493"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}