{"id":37582,"date":"2021-03-21T07:07:46","date_gmt":"2021-03-21T11:07:46","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.staging4.blunt-therapy.com\/?p=37582"},"modified":"2021-12-12T21:18:35","modified_gmt":"2021-12-13T02:18:35","slug":"narcissistic-abuse-recovery","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.blunt-therapy.com\/narcissistic-abuse-recovery\/","title":{"rendered":"7 Steps You Need To Take If You Want To Heal From Narcissistic Abuse"},"content":{"rendered":"<div id=\"ez-toc-container\" class=\"ez-toc-v2_0_65 counter-hierarchy ez-toc-counter ez-toc-custom ez-toc-container-direction\">\n<div class=\"ez-toc-title-container\">\n<p class=\"ez-toc-title \" >Table of Contents<\/p>\n<span class=\"ez-toc-title-toggle\"><\/span><\/div>\n<nav><ul class='ez-toc-list ez-toc-list-level-1 ' ><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-1\" href=\"https:\/\/www.blunt-therapy.com\/narcissistic-abuse-recovery\/#What_Is_Narcissistic_Abuse\" title=\"What Is Narcissistic Abuse?\">What Is Narcissistic Abuse?<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-2\" href=\"https:\/\/www.blunt-therapy.com\/narcissistic-abuse-recovery\/#Long-term_effects_of_narcissistic_abuse\" title=\"Long-term effects of narcissistic abuse\">Long-term effects of narcissistic abuse<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-3\" href=\"https:\/\/www.blunt-therapy.com\/narcissistic-abuse-recovery\/#7_Steps_To_Healing_from_Narcissistic_Abuse\" title=\"7 Steps To Healing from Narcissistic Abuse\">7 Steps To Healing from Narcissistic Abuse<\/a><ul class='ez-toc-list-level-3' ><li class='ez-toc-heading-level-3'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-4\" href=\"https:\/\/www.blunt-therapy.com\/narcissistic-abuse-recovery\/#1_Get_to_Safety\" title=\"1 Get to Safety\">1 Get to Safety<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-3'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-5\" href=\"https:\/\/www.blunt-therapy.com\/narcissistic-abuse-recovery\/#2_Stabilize_your_life_and_living_conditions\" title=\"2 Stabilize your life and living conditions\">2 Stabilize your life and living conditions<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-3'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-6\" href=\"https:\/\/www.blunt-therapy.com\/narcissistic-abuse-recovery\/#3_Process_the_Trauma\" title=\"3. Process the Trauma\">3. Process the Trauma<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-3'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-7\" href=\"https:\/\/www.blunt-therapy.com\/narcissistic-abuse-recovery\/#4_Process_the_Grief_and_Loss\" title=\"4. Process the Grief and Loss\">4. Process the Grief and Loss<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-3'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-8\" href=\"https:\/\/www.blunt-therapy.com\/narcissistic-abuse-recovery\/#5_Redefine_Yourself\" title=\"5. Redefine Yourself\">5. Redefine Yourself<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-3'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-9\" href=\"https:\/\/www.blunt-therapy.com\/narcissistic-abuse-recovery\/#6_Get_Connected\" title=\"6. Get Connected\">6. Get Connected<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-3'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-10\" href=\"https:\/\/www.blunt-therapy.com\/narcissistic-abuse-recovery\/#7_Create_a_New_Future\" title=\"7. Create a New Future\">7. Create a New Future<\/a><\/li><\/ul><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-11\" href=\"https:\/\/www.blunt-therapy.com\/narcissistic-abuse-recovery\/#Final_Thoughts_on_Narcissistic_Abuse\" title=\"Final Thoughts on Narcissistic Abuse\">Final Thoughts on Narcissistic Abuse<\/a><ul class='ez-toc-list-level-3' ><li class='ez-toc-heading-level-3'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-12\" href=\"https:\/\/www.blunt-therapy.com\/narcissistic-abuse-recovery\/#Helplines_within_the_United_States\" title=\"Helplines within the United States:\">Helplines within the United States:<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-3'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-13\" href=\"https:\/\/www.blunt-therapy.com\/narcissistic-abuse-recovery\/#References\" title=\"References\">References<\/a><\/li><\/ul><\/li><\/ul><\/nav><\/div>\n\n<p>Narcissistic abuse will shatter you. It will leave you doubting and questioning your own sanity.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Your abuser will haunt your dreams, leaving you disturbed and in tears. Even asleep you will remain caught in the grip of his abuse.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>There will even be those times when, ironically, your subconscious reminds you of the loving, tender moments when the narcissist lavished you with what you believed was love. You&#8217;ll feel trapped in a mind-bending, horrific web of deceit.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Does that sound familiar?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>If it does, you are not alone. You are not crazy. You are not weak. This is what <a href=\"https:\/\/www.blunt-therapy.com\/signs-of-an-emotionally-abusive-relationship\/\" class=\"rank-math-link\">narcissistic abuse<\/a> does to people.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-image\"><figure class=\"aligncenter size-full is-resized\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" src=\"data:image\/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP\/\/\/yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7\" data-src=\"https:\/\/www.blunt-therapy.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/7-Steps-You-Need-To-Take-If-You-Want-To-Heal-From-Narcissistic-Abuse-2.jpg\" alt=\"7 Steps You Need To Take If You Want To Heal From Narcissistic Abuse\" class=\"wp-image-37613 lazyload\" width=\"400\" height=\"600\"\/><noscript><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/www.blunt-therapy.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/7-Steps-You-Need-To-Take-If-You-Want-To-Heal-From-Narcissistic-Abuse-2.jpg\" alt=\"7 Steps You Need To Take If You Want To Heal From Narcissistic Abuse\" class=\"wp-image-37613 lazyload\" width=\"400\" height=\"600\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.blunt-therapy.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/7-Steps-You-Need-To-Take-If-You-Want-To-Heal-From-Narcissistic-Abuse-2.jpg 1000w, https:\/\/www.blunt-therapy.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/7-Steps-You-Need-To-Take-If-You-Want-To-Heal-From-Narcissistic-Abuse-2-83x125.jpg 83w, https:\/\/www.blunt-therapy.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/7-Steps-You-Need-To-Take-If-You-Want-To-Heal-From-Narcissistic-Abuse-2-200x300.jpg 200w, https:\/\/www.blunt-therapy.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/7-Steps-You-Need-To-Take-If-You-Want-To-Heal-From-Narcissistic-Abuse-2-150x225.jpg 150w, https:\/\/www.blunt-therapy.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/7-Steps-You-Need-To-Take-If-You-Want-To-Heal-From-Narcissistic-Abuse-2-768x1152.jpg 768w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 400px) 100vw, 400px\" \/><\/noscript><figcaption>7 Steps You Need To Take If You Want To Heal From Narcissistic Abuse<\/figcaption><\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"What_Is_Narcissistic_Abuse\"><\/span>What Is Narcissistic Abuse?<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>Narcissistic Abuse is a form of psychological warfare seen in dysfunctional <a class=\"wpil_keyword_link\" data-wpil=\"url\" href=\"https:\/\/www.blunt-therapy.com\/category\/relationships\" title=\"relationships\" data-wpil-keyword-link=\"linked\">relationships<\/a> that employs the use of lies, gaslighting, manipulation, threats, and other forms of controlling behaviors.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Narcissistic abuse can be emotional, mental, physical, financial, spiritual, or sexual in nature.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>The <em>Narcissistic abuser<\/em> manipulates others to fulfill his desires at any cost. He does not feel love or guilt in the manner you do.&nbsp; When he hurts others, it does not bother him. In fact, he enjoys it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>He is an empty soul who will suck the life out of everyone around him to fill himself up.&nbsp; He only feels good when he gets his way, even if others are left crushed and demoralized in his wake.&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>If he is losing control, he will say anything or sacrifice anyone to regain his power. It matters not if it is his partner, child, parent, or \u2018friend.\u2019 His first concern will <em>always<\/em> be himself. He has no moral code.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>This insidious abuse <em>changes you<\/em>. It affects the way you think about yourself and how you respond to others. It\u2019s like a thunderous cloud that covers you day and night.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Note: This is not an occasional behavior, but it is a consistent, <em>ongoing pattern<\/em> <em>of abusive behavior<\/em>.&nbsp; Although there is no doubt that Narcissistic Abuse exists, currently it is not a <a href=\"https:\/\/www.blunt-therapy.com\/the-problem-with-mental-health-self-diagnosis\/\" class=\"rank-math-link\">clinical diagnosis<\/a> in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, Fifth Edition (DSM-5).<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Long-term_effects_of_narcissistic_abuse\"><\/span>Long-term effects of narcissistic abuse<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>At its core, Narcissistic abuse is a soul-crushing, crazy-making form of abuse. Its purpose is to render the victim helpless to serve the Narcissist\u2019s desires.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>It slowly builds layers of emotional scars upon scars. Over time, it affects your identity, <a href=\"https:\/\/www.blunt-therapy.com\/breathing-exercises-for-mental-health\/\" class=\"rank-math-link\">mental and physical health<\/a> on the deepest levels. The extent of the damage depends on how long you are exposed to your abuser.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>It feels like you are living in a war zone. <a href=\"https:\/\/www.blunt-therapy.com\/how-to-deal-with-narcissistic-rage\/\" class=\"rank-math-link\">Narcissistic abusers<\/a> deal in psychological and emotional torture, spiritual degradation, physical abuse, and isolation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>All boundaries are lost. The abuser, who must be in total control, breaks down your boundaries one by one. When control begins to slip, abuse intensifies.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>The abused begins to believe they are defective.&nbsp; They come to believe the <a href=\"https:\/\/www.blunt-therapy.com\/how-to-gray-rock-method-a-narcissist\/\" class=\"rank-math-link\">narcissist is a superior being<\/a>, the victim is told this time and time again. The victim\u2019s thinking conforms. They <a href=\"https:\/\/www.blunt-therapy.com\/distorted-thinking-and-cognitive-distortions\/\" class=\"rank-math-link\">no longer think rationally<\/a>.&nbsp; The confusion is profound.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-embed is-type-video is-provider-youtube wp-block-embed-youtube wp-embed-aspect-16-9 wp-has-aspect-ratio\"><div class=\"wp-block-embed__wrapper\">\n<iframe class=\"lazyload\" title=\"How to heal from narcissistic relationship when there is no justice\" width=\"1170\" height=\"658\" data-src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/B6LzDnJ6ziM?feature=oembed\" frameborder=\"0\" allow=\"accelerometer; autoplay; clipboard-write; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture\" allowfullscreen><\/iframe>\n<\/div><figcaption>How to heal from narcissistic relationship when there is no justice. Courtesy, YouTube.<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"7_Steps_To_Healing_from_Narcissistic_Abuse\"><\/span>7 Steps To Healing from Narcissistic Abuse<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>You are not doomed to suffer from the effects of narcissistic abuse forever. But it does take work to heal. You cannot stay with your abuser, nor can you allow him to torture your subconscious once you have removed yourself from the situation.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"1_Get_to_Safety\"><\/span>1 Get to Safety<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p>If you are wounded, you cannot begin to heal while living in a war zone. When you are living with a narcissistic abuser, you live every day under attack. To heal you <strong>must<\/strong> leave the abuser. You must go \u2018no contact\u2019 with your abuser.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>If you cannot go \u2018no contact,\u2019 maybe children are involved, always meet in a public place or have someone with you. <strong><em>Never, ever let them come to your new home; never be alone with your abuser again.<\/em><\/strong> If you can prevent it, do not let them know where you live.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"2_Stabilize_your_life_and_living_conditions\"><\/span>2 Stabilize your life and living conditions<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p>You may need help in the beginning. Many victims stay in an abusive relationship because they don\u2019t have the financial resources or support to leave.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><em>Your abuser will only think of himself. Remember, it is all about him<\/em>. He will never make it easy for you to leave while you are supplying his needs. He will make you believe that leaving him is impossible. Remember it is <em>NOT<\/em> love. It is inevitable that one day he will discard you. That is his nature. Go now!<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>You will have to be creative<strong>. Do not risk your safety by staying. <\/strong>Many cities in America have secret places where abused women and their children can be housed and helped to start a safer life.&nbsp; There are <a href=\"https:\/\/www.blunt-therapy.com\/resources\/\" class=\"rank-math-link\">resources <\/a>listed below that can be of help.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Often victims \u2018keep the secrets\u2019 from their family and friends. This is exactly what your abuser wants you to do. It gives him power. You remain isolated<strong>.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Let\u2019s talk about why you have kept the secrets.<\/strong> You feel embarrassed, ashamed, and guilty about what occurred in your home.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Your abuser has told you repeatedly that you are stupid; that you are crazy; and he can show a most charming face to the world. Right? You are nothing\u2026 he is everything!<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>The thought of speaking out gives you a knot in your stomach. It makes you panic. It makes you cry.<strong> But you have made the decision to leave. <\/strong>Get to safety. Then tell the secrets.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>It\u2019s time to shout it from the mountain tops. Tell your friends and family; you need their support. Tell everyone you know. <em>Take his power away.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><em>But be safe, as you would with any type of abuser.<\/em> Hopefully, your circle of support will help you until you can get out on your own.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><em>But you have to let them know your circumstances.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"3_Process_the_Trauma\"><\/span>3. Process the Trauma<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p>In a narcissistic abuse relationship, you feel unsafe. Your abuser has constantly <em>intimidated and berated<\/em> you. Some even physically abuse. Always remember, whether they ever hit you or not, they have been verbally and <a href=\"https:\/\/www.blunt-therapy.com\/signs-of-an-emotionally-abusive-relationship\/\" class=\"rank-math-link\">emotionally abusive<\/a>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>He has withheld affection, brainwashed, gaslighted, falsely accused you, belittled, cursed you, made you feel crazy and stupid. You have walked on eggshells. His <a href=\"https:\/\/www.blunt-therapy.com\/how-to-deal-with-narcissistic-rage\/\" class=\"rank-math-link\">rage <\/a>was taken out on you. He lied, cheated, and took from you until you had nothing else, he wanted.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>The <a href=\"https:\/\/www.blunt-therapy.com\/symptoms-of-a-toxic-relationship\/\">relationship has been only about satisfying his needs<\/a>. He could not handle your achievements or serenity, so he set out to take them from you by any cruel means he could.<em> <\/em>&nbsp;He is a dark soul who must feed on and destroy others to feel better about himself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Removing yourself from your abuser, will be your first step toward your recovery and emotional good health. Even then, the psychological and physical damage done will not disappear overnight. It will be a process over months or even years to emotionally<a href=\"https:\/\/www.blunt-therapy.com\/how-to-stop-a-panic-attack\/\" class=\"rank-math-link\"> regulate<\/a> and to feel secure.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>It is difficult after being with a narcissistic abuser to trust your own judgment, much less trust others. After all, for so long you have been undermined, it will be difficult to trust your own judgment.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>You have been betrayed in a malicious way. Understanding your trust issues; becoming aware of your self-doubt; and how it affects your daily life is a big step back to wholeness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-table is-style-stripes\"><table class=\"has-fixed-layout\"><tbody><tr><td><em>Masks real self<\/em><\/td><td class=\"has-text-align-left\" data-align=\"left\"><em>Throws Tantrums<\/em><\/td><td><em>Brainwashes&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;<\/em><\/td><td><em>Uses Others<\/em><\/td><\/tr><tr><td><em>Fake cries&nbsp;<\/em><\/td><td class=\"has-text-align-left\" data-align=\"left\"><em>Withholds Affection&nbsp;<\/em><\/td><td><em>Discards&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;<\/em><\/td><td><em>Starts drama<\/em><\/td><\/tr><tr><td><em>Destroys&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;<\/em><\/td><td class=\"has-text-align-left\" data-align=\"left\"><em>Idealizes and Devalues<\/em><\/td><td><em>Bullies &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;<\/em><\/td><td><em>Switches Masks<\/em><\/td><\/tr><tr><td><em>Charms&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;<\/em><\/td><td class=\"has-text-align-left\" data-align=\"left\"><em>Gaslights &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;<\/em><\/td><td><em>Denies &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;<\/em><\/td><td><em>Abuses<\/em><\/td><\/tr><tr><td><em>Abuses Porn<\/em><\/td><td class=\"has-text-align-left\" data-align=\"left\"><em>Intimidates&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;<\/em><\/td><td><em>Controls<\/em><\/td><td><em>Ignores&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;<\/em><\/td><\/tr><tr><td><em>Steals &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;<\/em><\/td><td class=\"has-text-align-left\" data-align=\"left\"><em>Projects &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;<\/em><\/td><td><em>Cheats &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;<\/em><\/td><td><em>Plays Mind Games<\/em><\/td><\/tr><tr><td><em>Abuses Substances<\/em><\/td><td class=\"has-text-align-left\" data-align=\"left\"><em>Falsely accuses&nbsp;<\/em><\/td><td><em>Lies, lies, and lies<\/em><\/td><td><em>Taunts<\/em><\/td><\/tr><tr><td><em>Blames&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;<\/em><\/td><td class=\"has-text-align-left\" data-align=\"left\"><em>Mirrors&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;<\/em><\/td><td><em>Stalks &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;<\/em><\/td><td><em>Manipulates&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;<\/em><\/td><\/tr><tr><td><em>Isolates&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;<\/em><\/td><td class=\"has-text-align-left\" data-align=\"left\"><em>Taunts &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;<\/em><\/td><td><em>Triangulates<\/em><\/td><td><em>Smears&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;<\/em><\/td><\/tr><tr><td><em>Competes&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;<\/em><\/td><td class=\"has-text-align-left\" data-align=\"left\"><em>Betrays&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;<\/em><\/td><td>Threatens<\/td><td>Stonewalls<\/td><\/tr><\/tbody><\/table><figcaption>Figure 1: Ways a Narcissist Uses to Abuse and Traumatize<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"4_Process_the_Grief_and_Loss\"><\/span>4. Process the Grief and Loss<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p>It is important to realize you are going through a <a href=\"https:\/\/www.blunt-therapy.com\/healthy-ways-to-cope-with-grief\/\">grief<\/a> process. You have lost someone you loved, possibly your home, and a life in which you were involved. Even though he was abusive, at some point he was charming and <em>appeared <\/em>to love you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>You formed an attachment and built a life with him. Good or bad, you believed you were in a <a href=\"https:\/\/www.blunt-therapy.com\/active-listening-skills\/\" class=\"rank-math-link\">genuine relationship<\/a>. Now it\u2019s all gone, and you are starting over.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>You will have mixed feelings about this loss.&nbsp; Even though you are no longer being battered, the irony is that a large portion of your feelings in the beginning will be centered around the grief and loss.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>You will not believe someone can be that callous and self-centered. Parts of the fantasy will still exist. They will be the hardest to let die.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>In reality, the narcissistic abuser\u2019s intent was malicious. No matter how you feel, <em>it was not about you<\/em>\u2026 it was all about them and their selfishness. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>The Narcissist abuser depleted or removed all your resources, so you have nothing. He made sure you were left empty-handed. He derives pleasure from thinking that you will not survive without him.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>As time passes, this will change, and you will realize you have made it without them. You have lost nothing except someone who thought only of themselves and nothing about the safety and survival of you and yours.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"5_Redefine_Yourself\"><\/span>5. Redefine Yourself<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p>Being abused changes how you think about yourself. You heal much quicker from a physical wound than you do from an emotional wound. The narcissistic abuser leaves psychological\/emotional scars, although some also use physical abuse as well. They leave a special type of scar.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>This abuser has taught you what he wants you to think; your thinking has conformed. If you have been told you are stupid or ugly, that is what you have <a href=\"https:\/\/www.blunt-therapy.com\/distorted-thinking-and-cognitive-distortions\/\" class=\"rank-math-link\">come to believe about yourself<\/a>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Depending on how long you remain in the abusive situation and its severity, that will be a determining factor in your recovery. But recover you can!!!<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Awareness is always the key. When the self-degrading thoughts begin, stop immediately. Do not entertain <em>his lies<\/em>. Backtrack and replace the thoughts with more positive ways of viewing yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>YOU ARE STRONG, or you would not have survived. Do not allow YOU to become your abuser. If you do, game over! He wins; you lose.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"6_Get_Connected\"><\/span>6. Get Connected<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p>The Narcissist\u2019s strength is in your isolation. This probably means you have been cut off from your family or have minimal contact.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>In most cases his friends <em>were<\/em> your friends. You may have a friend or two who you can call yours. But you didn\u2019t see them much during the relationship.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Now you have the freedom to develop a circle of support. <em>It is ever so important to your future success<\/em>. It\u2019s time to contact those old friends and reconnect.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>You can make friends with those work acquaintances that you never could before. You can have meaningful relationships.&nbsp; You can now choose a place of worship; join a club; go out on Saturday night with friends; or just spend quiet time with alone or have a pleasant family time with your children.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Above all, if you value your extended family, reconnect and let them know what has been going on. If that is not what you want<em>, make a family of your choosing<\/em>. The point is to create a circle of support, people you can count on&#8230; always.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"7_Create_a_New_Future\"><\/span>7. Create a New Future<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p>You have a second chance at life. It\u2019s all yours. What are you going to do with <em>this brand-new untarnished<\/em> part of your life? That is a tremendous thought when you are first faced with a clean slate. It may be smudged with memories and other issues that need to be worked out, but in time it will happen.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Don\u2019t let that undo you. Always be ready when opportunity comes knocking\u2026 and it is pounding at your door right now. OPEN UP YOURSELF TO POSSIBILITIES. Never again will you have to listen to the degrading rhetoric of a narcissist.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Your walls breathe \u2018peace\u2019 to you as you enter your space. This is your chance to make a place for yourself in the sun.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Final_Thoughts_on_Narcissistic_Abuse\"><\/span>Final Thoughts on Narcissistic Abuse<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p><em>To waste your life being used as Supply<\/em> is to give your life over to the Narcissist. They will <a href=\"https:\/\/ritabelle5650.medium.com\/a-peek-inside-the-home-of-a-narcissist-2fb885fa46bf?sk=f733ebe88f3d2da4806b34c062c222d9\" target=\"_blank\" aria-label=\"use and destroy everyone (opens in a new tab)\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\" class=\"rank-math-link\">use and destroy everyone<\/a> and everything with whom they come in contact, even their families.&nbsp;&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>For a person who has the realization that they want to heal, remaining with their abuser simply cannot be an option. Metaphorically square your shoulders. <strong><em>Seek help<\/em><\/strong>. And be honest with the people in your world.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><em>Becoming aware<\/em> of your weaknesses, your needs, and <a class=\"wpil_keyword_link\" href=\"https:\/\/www.blunt-therapy.com\/mental-health-benefits-of-dogs\/\" title=\"exercising\" data-wpil-keyword-link=\"linked\">exercising<\/a> your strengths will shape you into a survivor. It isn\u2019t easy and it doesn\u2019t happen overnight.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>After being verbally, emotionally, and sometimes physically abused and then discarded, you are wounded. Trust is usually no longer in your vocabulary. To prosper in this life, you must literally rise out of the ashes of the past like the phoenix. <a aria-label=\"It absolutely can be done (opens in a new tab)\" href=\"https:\/\/ritabelle5650.medium.com\/8-truths-to-a-better-life-719e387815c7?sk=fa58fccf7dada9a62b41b1685df7ca97\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\" class=\"rank-math-link\">It absolutely can be done<\/a> with awareness and hard work. <em>You are not alone.&nbsp;&nbsp;<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>The Narcissist wants you to remain in the destructive quagmire where he put you. He wants to believe that you can never be more than his lies. You are a survivor.<em> <\/em>Choose to rise like the phoenix.&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>The abuse and trauma you suffered is not your fault. You can get your life back.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<blockquote class=\"wp-block-quote is-layout-flow wp-block-quote-is-layout-flow\"><p>\u201cLive well. It is the greatest revenge.\u201d<\/p><cite>The Talmud<\/cite><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Helplines_within_the_United_States\"><\/span>Helplines within the United States:<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h3>\n\n\n\n<ul><li><a class=\"wpil_keyword_link\" href=\"https:\/\/www.blunt-therapy.com\/how-to-get-results-in-therapy\/\" title=\"Counseling\" data-wpil-keyword-link=\"linked\">Counseling<\/a> can help you with your unique issues that surface after experiencing narcissistic abuse. Visit <a href=\"https:\/\/www.blunt-therapy.com\/betterhelp-counseling-review\/\">BetterHelp to start working with a licensed therapist<\/a> today. Get 10% off with this link.<\/li><\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p>You can also call helplines who have someone to talk to you about what has happened to you or get guidance about what to do.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul><li><a aria-label=\" (opens in a new tab)\" href=\"http:\/\/www.ndvh.org\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\" class=\"rank-math-link\"><strong>National Domestic Violence Hotline<\/strong><\/a><a href=\"https:\/\/www.womenshealth.gov\/about-us\/disclaimers#1\" class=\"rank-math-link\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\"><br><\/a> Phone Number: 1-800-799-SAFE (7233)<\/li><li><a aria-label=\" (opens in a new tab)\" href=\"http:\/\/www.rainn.org\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\" class=\"rank-math-link\"><strong>National Sexual Assault Hotline<\/strong><\/a><a href=\"https:\/\/www.womenshealth.gov\/about-us\/disclaimers#1\" class=\"rank-math-link\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\"><br><\/a> Phone Number: 1-800-656-HOPE (4673)<\/li><li><a aria-label=\" (opens in a new tab)\" href=\"http:\/\/www.safehelpline.org\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\" class=\"rank-math-link\"><strong>Safe Helpline<\/strong><\/a> (for members of the military)<br>Phone Number: 1-877-995-5247<\/li><\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p>If you\u2019re in immediate danger, <strong>call 911<\/strong>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<section class=\"wp-block-uagb-section uagb-section__wrap uagb-section__background-color uagb-block-540ad93d\"><div class=\"uagb-section__overlay\"><\/div><div class=\"uagb-section__inner-wrap\">\n<div class=\"wp-block-uagb-call-to-action uagb-block-73105e3b wp-block-button\"><div class=\"uagb-cta__wrap\"><h5 class=\"uagb-cta__title\">Private Practice  with No Overhead and No Shortage of Clients.<br><\/h5><p class=\"uagb-cta__desc\">Join\u00a0the more than 34,000 full and part-time therapists who are earning more with BetterHelp! Supplement your income, or build your own practice from scratch. Bonuses &amp; Incentives for High Performers! <strong>Sponsored Advertisement<\/strong><\/p><\/div><div class=\"uagb-cta__buttons\"><a href=\"https:\/\/hasofferstracking.betterhelp.com\/aff_c?offer_id=20&amp;aff_id=1614\" class=\"uagb-cta__button-link-wrapper wp-block-button__link\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">Join BetterHelp<\/a><\/div><\/div>\n<\/div><\/section>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"References\"><\/span>References<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h3>\n\n\n\n<ul><li><a class=\"rank-math-link\" href=\"https:\/\/www.psychologytoday.com\/us\/blog\/toxic-relationships\/201709\/how-spot-narcissistic-abuse\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">How to Spot Narcissistic Abuse &#8211; Psychology Today<\/a><\/li><li><a class=\"rank-math-link\" href=\"https:\/\/www.psychologytoday.com\/us\/blog\/toxic-relationships\/201709\/how-spot-narcissistic-abuse\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">12 Signs You Might Have Narcissistic Victim Sy<\/a><a class=\"rank-math-link\" href=\"https:\/\/www.healthline.com\/health\/narcissistic-victim-syndrome\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">ndrome &#8211; Healthline<\/a><\/li><li><a class=\"rank-math-link\" href=\"https:\/\/www.healthline.com\/health\/narcissistic-victim-syndrome\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">9 Tips, Tools, and Strategies for Narcissistic Abuse Recovery &#8211; Healthline<\/a><\/li><\/ul>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Narcissistic abuse shatters its victims and destroys relationships. But you can heal from it, grow stronger, and move on. In this post, we&#8217;ll teach you how.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":16,"featured_media":37614,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","ub_ctt_via":"","_lmt_disableupdate":"no","_lmt_disable":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[797,16],"tags":[907,903,972,17,859,52,809],"featured_image_src":"https:\/\/www.blunt-therapy.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/7-Steps-You-Need-To-Take-If-You-Want-To-Heal-From-Narcissistic-Abuse.jpg","author_info":{"display_name":"Rita Richards, LCSW","author_link":"https:\/\/www.blunt-therapy.com\/author\/rita-richards\/"},"modified_by":"Randy Withers, LCMHC","uagb_featured_image_src":{"full":["https:\/\/www.blunt-therapy.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/7-Steps-You-Need-To-Take-If-You-Want-To-Heal-From-Narcissistic-Abuse.jpg",800,450,false],"thumbnail":["https:\/\/www.blunt-therapy.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/7-Steps-You-Need-To-Take-If-You-Want-To-Heal-From-Narcissistic-Abuse-150x84.jpg",150,84,true],"medium":["https:\/\/www.blunt-therapy.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/7-Steps-You-Need-To-Take-If-You-Want-To-Heal-From-Narcissistic-Abuse-200x113.jpg",200,113,true],"medium_large":["https:\/\/www.blunt-therapy.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/7-Steps-You-Need-To-Take-If-You-Want-To-Heal-From-Narcissistic-Abuse-768x432.jpg",768,432,true],"large":["https:\/\/www.blunt-therapy.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/7-Steps-You-Need-To-Take-If-You-Want-To-Heal-From-Narcissistic-Abuse-400x225.jpg",400,225,true],"1536x1536":["https:\/\/www.blunt-therapy.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/7-Steps-You-Need-To-Take-If-You-Want-To-Heal-From-Narcissistic-Abuse.jpg",800,450,false],"2048x2048":["https:\/\/www.blunt-therapy.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/7-Steps-You-Need-To-Take-If-You-Want-To-Heal-From-Narcissistic-Abuse.jpg",800,450,false],"tiny":["https:\/\/www.blunt-therapy.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/7-Steps-You-Need-To-Take-If-You-Want-To-Heal-From-Narcissistic-Abuse.jpg",60,34,false],"thumbnail-medium":["https:\/\/www.blunt-therapy.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/7-Steps-You-Need-To-Take-If-You-Want-To-Heal-From-Narcissistic-Abuse.jpg",480,270,false],"thumbnail-square":["https:\/\/www.blunt-therapy.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/7-Steps-You-Need-To-Take-If-You-Want-To-Heal-From-Narcissistic-Abuse.jpg",480,270,false],"thumbnail-portrait":["https:\/\/www.blunt-therapy.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/7-Steps-You-Need-To-Take-If-You-Want-To-Heal-From-Narcissistic-Abuse.jpg",480,270,false],"thumbnail-large":["https:\/\/www.blunt-therapy.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/7-Steps-You-Need-To-Take-If-You-Want-To-Heal-From-Narcissistic-Abuse.jpg",720,405,false]},"uagb_author_info":{"display_name":"Rita Richards, LCSW","author_link":"https:\/\/www.blunt-therapy.com\/author\/rita-richards\/"},"uagb_comment_info":3,"uagb_excerpt":"Narcissistic abuse shatters its victims and destroys relationships. But you can heal from it, grow stronger, and move on. In this post, we'll teach you how.","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.blunt-therapy.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/37582"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.blunt-therapy.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.blunt-therapy.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.blunt-therapy.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/16"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.blunt-therapy.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=37582"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.blunt-therapy.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/37582\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.blunt-therapy.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/37614"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.blunt-therapy.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=37582"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.blunt-therapy.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=37582"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.blunt-therapy.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=37582"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}