{"id":34804,"date":"2021-01-09T08:30:00","date_gmt":"2021-01-09T13:30:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.staging4.blunt-therapy.com\/?p=34804"},"modified":"2022-10-24T21:43:25","modified_gmt":"2022-10-25T01:43:25","slug":"how-to-gray-rock-method-a-narcissist","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.blunt-therapy.com\/how-to-gray-rock-method-a-narcissist\/","title":{"rendered":"How To Use The Gray Rock Method To Repel Narcissists (and Other Toxic People)"},"content":{"rendered":"<div id=\"ez-toc-container\" class=\"ez-toc-v2_0_65 counter-hierarchy ez-toc-counter ez-toc-custom ez-toc-container-direction\">\n<div class=\"ez-toc-title-container\">\n<p class=\"ez-toc-title \" >Table of Contents<\/p>\n<span class=\"ez-toc-title-toggle\"><\/span><\/div>\n<nav><ul class='ez-toc-list ez-toc-list-level-1 ' ><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-1\" href=\"https:\/\/www.blunt-therapy.com\/how-to-gray-rock-method-a-narcissist\/#What_is_the_Gray_Rock_Method\" title=\"What is the Gray Rock Method?\">What is the Gray Rock Method?<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-2\" href=\"https:\/\/www.blunt-therapy.com\/how-to-gray-rock-method-a-narcissist\/#Five_Ways_to_Use_the_Gray_Rock_Method\" title=\"Five Ways to Use the Gray Rock Method\">Five Ways to Use the Gray Rock Method<\/a><ul class='ez-toc-list-level-3' ><li class='ez-toc-heading-level-3'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-3\" href=\"https:\/\/www.blunt-therapy.com\/how-to-gray-rock-method-a-narcissist\/#1_Dont_Reveal_Your_Strategy\" title=\"1. Don\u2019t Reveal Your Strategy\">1. Don\u2019t Reveal Your Strategy<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-3'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-4\" href=\"https:\/\/www.blunt-therapy.com\/how-to-gray-rock-method-a-narcissist\/#2_Keep_It_Short_And_Sweet\" title=\"2. Keep It Short And Sweet\">2. Keep It Short And Sweet<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-3'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-5\" href=\"https:\/\/www.blunt-therapy.com\/how-to-gray-rock-method-a-narcissist\/#3_Talk_About_Boring_Things_When_You_Have_to_Talk_at_All\" title=\"3. Talk About Boring Things (When You Have to Talk at All)\">3. Talk About Boring Things (When You Have to Talk at All)<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-3'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-6\" href=\"https:\/\/www.blunt-therapy.com\/how-to-gray-rock-method-a-narcissist\/#4_Feed_Them_A_Strict_Information_Diet\" title=\"4. Feed Them A Strict Information Diet\">4. Feed Them A Strict Information Diet<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-3'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-7\" href=\"https:\/\/www.blunt-therapy.com\/how-to-gray-rock-method-a-narcissist\/#5_Disengage\" title=\"5. Disengage\">5. Disengage<\/a><\/li><\/ul><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-8\" href=\"https:\/\/www.blunt-therapy.com\/how-to-gray-rock-method-a-narcissist\/#Does_the_Gray_Rock_Method_work\" title=\"Does the Gray Rock Method work?\">Does the Gray Rock Method work?<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-9\" href=\"https:\/\/www.blunt-therapy.com\/how-to-gray-rock-method-a-narcissist\/#What_to_do_when_the_Gray_Rock_Method_doesnt_work\" title=\"What to do when the Gray Rock Method doesn\u2019t work?\">What to do when the Gray Rock Method doesn\u2019t work?<\/a><ul class='ez-toc-list-level-3' ><li class='ez-toc-heading-level-3'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-10\" href=\"https:\/\/www.blunt-therapy.com\/how-to-gray-rock-method-a-narcissist\/#References_and_Research\" title=\"References and Research\">References and Research<\/a><\/li><\/ul><\/li><\/ul><\/nav><\/div>\n\n<p>We all have to deal with difficult people. For the most part, they are just an irritant.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>But some people go beyond that.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Some people are manipulative, abusive, and toxic. People like this thrive on conflict and drama and they will use you to get them. Behaviors like these are often a sign of <a href=\"https:\/\/www.blunt-therapy.com\/how-to-deal-with-narcissistic-rage\/\" class=\"rank-math-link\">narcissism <\/a>and other forms of psychopathy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Setting boundaries with these people is critical. Most of the time it\u2019s best to just walk away.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Unfortunately, that&#8217;s not always possible. Like it or not, there are times when you have to interact with narcissists and other <a href=\"https:\/\/www.blunt-therapy.com\/symptoms-of-a-toxic-relationship\/\" class=\"rank-math-link\">toxic personalities<\/a>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Fortunately, you can protect your personal space with a technique called \u201cThe Gray Rock Method.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-image\">\n<figure class=\"aligncenter size-full is-resized\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" src=\"data:image\/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP\/\/\/yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7\" data-src=\"https:\/\/www.blunt-therapy.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/How-To-Use-The-Gray-Rock-Method-To-Deal-With-A-Narcissist-2.jpg\" alt=\"How To Use The Gray Rock Method To Deal With A Narcissist\" class=\"wp-image-34816 lazyload\" width=\"400\" height=\"600\"\/><noscript><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/www.blunt-therapy.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/How-To-Use-The-Gray-Rock-Method-To-Deal-With-A-Narcissist-2.jpg\" alt=\"How To Use The Gray Rock Method To Deal With A Narcissist\" class=\"wp-image-34816 lazyload\" width=\"400\" height=\"600\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.blunt-therapy.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/How-To-Use-The-Gray-Rock-Method-To-Deal-With-A-Narcissist-2.jpg 1000w, https:\/\/www.blunt-therapy.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/How-To-Use-The-Gray-Rock-Method-To-Deal-With-A-Narcissist-2-83x125.jpg 83w, https:\/\/www.blunt-therapy.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/How-To-Use-The-Gray-Rock-Method-To-Deal-With-A-Narcissist-2-200x300.jpg 200w, https:\/\/www.blunt-therapy.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/How-To-Use-The-Gray-Rock-Method-To-Deal-With-A-Narcissist-2-150x225.jpg 150w, https:\/\/www.blunt-therapy.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/How-To-Use-The-Gray-Rock-Method-To-Deal-With-A-Narcissist-2-768x1152.jpg 768w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 400px) 100vw, 400px\" \/><\/noscript><figcaption>How To Use The Gray Rock Method To Repel Narcissists<\/figcaption><\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"What_is_the_Gray_Rock_Method\"><\/span>What is the Gray Rock Method?<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>The Gray Rock Method was designed to use in situations where you are forced to deal with people you would normally not want to be around. An annoying co-worker, for example, or a <a href=\"https:\/\/www.blunt-therapy.com\/she-asked-for-a-divorce-on-thanksgiving\/\" class=\"rank-math-link\">manipulative ex-spouse<\/a>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>According to Dr. Ove Heradstveit, Ph.D., a licensed clinical psychologist, the<a href=\"https:\/\/www.healthline.com\/health\/grey-rock\" class=\"rank-math-link\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\"> Gray Rock Method<\/a> is when you purposely make yourself uninteresting and unresponsive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>The point of &#8220;gray rocking&#8221; someone is to deny narcissists the attention they crave. If done correctly, you become no more enticing than a dull, gray rock. Thus, the name.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>When you use The Gray Rock Method, you remove the \u201cfun\u201d of toying with you. Narcissists bore easily when they don&#8217;t get a reaction. They tend to move on in search of more appealing targets.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Erin Hendrickson, LPC notes that The Gray Rock method can be an effective tool for those learning how to implement and maintain firm, healthy boundaries with those individuals who are narcissists, or those with <a href=\"https:\/\/hernorm.com\/quiz\/am-i-dating-a-narcissist\/\" target=\"_blank\" data-type=\"URL\" data-id=\"https:\/\/hernorm.com\/quiz\/am-i-dating-a-narcissist\/\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">narcissistic tendencies<\/a>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u201cIt is often a method I suggest using for my clients who have left a relationship with a narcissist and still have to endure SOME communication due to co-parenting requirements,\u201d she says.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Ideally, the hard and firm &#8216;no contact&#8217; recommendation for those leaving a partner with narcissistic traits, but may not be an option when having to co-parent.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Five_Ways_to_Use_the_Gray_Rock_Method\"><\/span>Five Ways to Use the Gray Rock Method<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>It&#8217;s important to note there isn&#8217;t much research to support (or disprove) the usefulness of The Gray Rock Method. Results can vary wildly, so always be careful.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>It&#8217;s probably best to <a href=\"https:\/\/www.blunt-therapy.com\/questions-you-want-to-ask-your-therapist\/\" data-type=\"post\" data-id=\"25995\" class=\"rank-math-link\">speak with your therapist<\/a> first before you do. He or she can provide additional insight into whether it is an appropriate strategy to consider. If you don&#8217;t have one, you can <a class=\"thirstylink\" rel=\"nofollow rel=&quot;sponsored&quot;\" target=\"_blank\" title=\"BetterHelp Therapist Search\" href=\"https:\/\/www.blunt-therapy.com\/recommends\/betterhelp-therapist-search\/\" data-shortcode=\"true\">search for online providers here<\/a>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Having said that, let&#8217;s talk about the different ways to use The Gray rock Method on narcissists and other toxic people.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"1_Dont_Reveal_Your_Strategy\"><\/span>1. Don\u2019t Reveal Your Strategy<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p>First of all, it\u2019s important that you don\u2019t tell the person that you\u2019re \u201cGray Rocking\u201d them. If you tell them what you\u2019re doing, you give them the incentive to take it up a notch.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>The Gray Rock Method is kind of like Fight Club. And the first rule of Fight Club is you never talk about Fight Club.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>The same thing goes for The Gray Rock Method. Never admit to Gray Rocking. Doing so defeats the purpose.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-embed is-type-video is-provider-youtube wp-block-embed-youtube wp-embed-aspect-16-9 wp-has-aspect-ratio\"><div class=\"wp-block-embed__wrapper\">\n<iframe class=\"lazyload\" title=\"The Gray Rock Method | Beat \u2018Toxic People\u2019 with Serenity\" width=\"1170\" height=\"658\" data-src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/mUmycvTfH5Q?feature=oembed\" frameborder=\"0\" allow=\"accelerometer; autoplay; clipboard-write; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture\" allowfullscreen><\/iframe>\n<\/div><figcaption>The Gray Rock Method. Courtesy, YouTube.<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"2_Keep_It_Short_And_Sweet\"><\/span>2. Keep It Short And Sweet<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p>Toxic people thrive on chaos. Don\u2019t feed them with your words and actions.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Limit your interactions with narcissists in particular and try to be as bland as possible. You can do this by speaking in a neutral tone of voice and make your responses short and sweet. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Use \u201cyes\u201d, \u201cno\u201d, and \u201cI don\u2019t know\u201d without further elaboration. Responding with \u201cuh-huh\u201d or \u201cmmm\u201d works, too.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Sometimes, things get complicated. Sometimes you don&#8217;t have a choice. If you have to work on a project with a coworker or raise a child with a toxic ex-spouse, it takes a bit more finesse.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>In these cases, respond briefly when you have to talk to them. Don\u2019t include unnecessary details. End the conversation as soon as possible.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Work-related questions from a toxic co-worker should be handled matter-of-factly. Share only the information needed. No opinions. No emotion.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Co-parenting with a narcissist requires a similar strategy. Keep discussions limited to childcare, visitation, and logistical matters. Try to communicate on the phone or by texting. Limit face-face interactions.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-ta-image wp-block-image\"><figure class=\"aligncenter\"><a class=\"thirstylinkimg\" rel=\"nofollow rel=&quot;sponsored&quot;\" target=\"_blank\" title=\"BetterHelp Ad\" href=\"https:\/\/www.blunt-therapy.com\/recommends\/betterhelp-ad\/\" data-shortcode=\"true\"><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"data:image\/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP\/\/\/yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7\" data-src=\"https:\/\/www.blunt-therapy.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/BetterHelp-1.jpg\" alt=\"Join BetterHelp today and receive 10% off!\" class=\"wp-image-35447 lazyload\"\/><noscript><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"600\" height=\"314\" src=\"https:\/\/www.blunt-therapy.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/BetterHelp-1.jpg\" alt=\"Join BetterHelp today and receive 10% off!\" class=\"wp-image-35447 lazyload\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.blunt-therapy.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/BetterHelp-1.jpg 600w, https:\/\/www.blunt-therapy.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/BetterHelp-1-200x105.jpg 200w, https:\/\/www.blunt-therapy.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/BetterHelp-1-400x209.jpg 400w, https:\/\/www.blunt-therapy.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/BetterHelp-1-150x79.jpg 150w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 600px) 100vw, 600px\" \/><\/noscript><\/a><figcaption><a class=\"thirstylink\" rel=\"nofollow rel=&quot;sponsored&quot;\" target=\"_blank\" title=\"BetterHelp\" href=\"https:\/\/www.blunt-therapy.com\/recommends\/betterhelp\/\" data-shortcode=\"true\">Join BetterHelp today and receive 10% off!<\/a><\/figcaption><\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"3_Talk_About_Boring_Things_When_You_Have_to_Talk_at_All\"><\/span>3. Talk About Boring Things (When You Have to Talk at All)<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p>Sometimes just saying \u201ceh\u201d, \u201cmmhmm\u201d, etc. just isn\u2019t enough. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>The toxic person can&#8217;t find out that you\u2019re trying to Gray Rock them. If all they get are short, non-answers on a constant basis, they may suspect you are acting differently on purpose.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Let them think the problem is with you. Maybe you\u2019re just naturally dull and unengaged. Be the opposite of what you would be on a promising first date.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Of course, not talking to them is the best option. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>But when that isn\u2019t possible, talk about boring things only. Bland subject matter with bland answers is the way to go. Stay away from hot-button topics. The weather is always good for that.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Finally, don\u2019t ask the toxic person anything. Questions invite further interaction and betray interest.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>If they keep trying to get a reaction, remember to<a href=\"https:\/\/www.psychologytoday.com\/us\/blog\/toxic-relationships\/201911\/the-price-and-payoff-gray-rock-strategy\" class=\"rank-math-link\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\"> detach yourself<\/a>. Avoid \u201ctaking the bait\u201d. This means ignoring accusations, anger, and tantrums.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"4_Feed_Them_A_Strict_Information_Diet\"><\/span>4. Feed Them A Strict Information Diet<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p>Knowledge is power, so don\u2019t share any information about yourself. Anything you feed a narcissist is ammunition for them to use against you. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Don\u2019t discuss your past. Don\u2019t share your opinions. Avoid telling them about your personal life. Anything you tell them could be used against you later.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>By restricting their access to knowledge, you protect yourself from further toxicity.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"5_Disengage\"><\/span>5. Disengage<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p>Whenever possible, avoid eye contact. It will help you manage your emotions when fending off their attempts.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Looking at something else is a helpful way to draw their attention away from you. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>If you are at work, focus on your computer screen or your notebook while they talk to you. At home, check that dinner you have in the oven. In the car, fiddle with the radio station. Start googling things on your phone.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>If there\u2019s nothing for you to focus your attention on, turn <a class=\"wpil_keyword_link\" href=\"https:\/\/www.blunt-therapy.com\/distorted-thinking-and-cognitive-distortions\/\" title=\"your thoughts\" data-wpil-keyword-link=\"linked\">your thoughts<\/a> inward. Recall a pleasant memory. Remember your last vacation. Or think about someone you actually enjoy talking to. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Just don&#8217;t engage. That&#8217;s what they want.<\/p>\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-image\">\n<figure class=\"aligncenter size-full is-resized\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" src=\"data:image\/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP\/\/\/yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7\" data-src=\"https:\/\/www.blunt-therapy.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/Gray-Rock-Method.jpg\" alt=\"How To Use The Gray Rock Method To Deal With A Narcissist\" class=\"wp-image-34978 lazyload\" width=\"600\" height=\"400\"\/><noscript><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/www.blunt-therapy.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/Gray-Rock-Method.jpg\" alt=\"How To Use The Gray Rock Method To Deal With A Narcissist\" class=\"wp-image-34978 lazyload\" width=\"600\" height=\"400\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.blunt-therapy.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/Gray-Rock-Method.jpg 600w, https:\/\/www.blunt-therapy.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/Gray-Rock-Method-188x125.jpg 188w, https:\/\/www.blunt-therapy.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/Gray-Rock-Method-400x267.jpg 400w, https:\/\/www.blunt-therapy.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/Gray-Rock-Method-150x100.jpg 150w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 600px) 100vw, 600px\" \/><\/noscript><figcaption>Pictured: You.<\/figcaption><\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Does_the_Gray_Rock_Method_work\"><\/span>Does the Gray Rock Method work?<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>This is the $64,000 question. Does The Gray Rock Method <a class=\"wpil_keyword_link\" href=\"https:\/\/www.blunt-therapy.com\/how-to-get-results-in-therapy\/\" title=\"get results\" data-wpil-keyword-link=\"linked\">get results<\/a>?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Hendrickson thinks it has some useful applications. &#8220;The Gray Rock Method can be a useful tool to maintain boundaries with a narcissist,&#8221; Hendrickson said. &#8220;Using it sends the message of &#8216;I see you, I heard you, but I am choosing not to engage with you emotionally.'&#8221;&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>She adds one caveat though: \u201cConsistency is KEY. Any inconsistency will start the whole process over again. You&#8217;re basically re-training the narcissist that there is no benefit or reward for trying to cause conflict. If you can stay strong, the Gray Rock method can help decrease the amount of conflict with the narcissist in our life.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>It\u2019s fair to say that the Gray Rock Method works\u2026 sometimes. As Dr. Heradstveit also points out, the Gray Rock Method is helpful when applied in the correct context. That is, when your motive is to keep another person from investing in you emotionally, and when there are good reasons to keep this from happening.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>It is, however a poor method in many other types of <a class=\"wpil_keyword_link\" title=\"relationships\" data-wpil-keyword-link=\"linked\" data-wpil=\"url\" href=\"https:\/\/www.blunt-therapy.com\/category\/relationships\/\">relationships<\/a>. You certainly don&#8217;t want to use this strategy with someone you are currently in a relationship with. It will make you appear aloof and passive-aggressive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>It&#8217;s also not a good idea to &#8220;gray rock&#8221; someone who gets violent. People like this don&#8217;t <a href=\"https:\/\/www.blunt-therapy.com\/narcissistic-abuse-recovery\/\">need an excuse to be abusive<\/a>. They can find a way to get upset whether you are trying to ignore them or not. <a href=\"https:\/\/www.blunt-therapy.com\/how-to-deal-with-narcissistic-rage\/\" class=\"rank-math-link\">Narcissistic rage<\/a> is a real thing, so exercise caution.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>It\u2019s best to avoid abusive people entirely.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>People who thrive on drama may get<a href=\"https:\/\/mywellbeing.com\/for-therapists\/grey-rock-technique\" class=\"rank-math-link\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\"> frustrated<\/a> when don&#8217;t get a response. This could cause them to escalate their behaviors in an attempt to get a response.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>It should also be noted that Gray Rock is not a long-term solution. The best use of this method is to employ it when necessary. It\u2019s particularly helpful in fleeting situations. A creepy guy hits on you in Starbucks. That sort of thing.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>As always, the best way to deal with a manipulative person is to sever contact with them. This is not always possible, so Gray Rocking is a helpful \u201csecond best\u201d option.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-embed is-type-video is-provider-youtube wp-block-embed-youtube wp-embed-aspect-16-9 wp-has-aspect-ratio\"><div class=\"wp-block-embed__wrapper\">\n<iframe class=\"lazyload\" title=\"When does the Gray Rock Method Fail? | Narcissism &amp; Detachment Strategy\" width=\"1170\" height=\"658\" data-src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/8-f2qNb45Ss?feature=oembed\" frameborder=\"0\" allow=\"accelerometer; autoplay; clipboard-write; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture\" allowfullscreen><\/iframe>\n<\/div><figcaption>When does the Gray Rock Method Fail? Courtesy, YouTube.<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"What_to_do_when_the_Gray_Rock_Method_doesnt_work\"><\/span><strong>What to do when the Gray Rock Method doesn\u2019t work?<\/strong><span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>There are a couple of different options, depending on whether you have to interact with the toxic person or not.&nbsp; No matter what, make sure you are safe. It\u2019s also important to <a href=\"https:\/\/www.blunt-therapy.com\/complete-guide-to-online-virtual-counseling\/\" class=\"rank-math-link\">seek therapy<\/a> for guidance and support.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>If there is no reason to maintain contact with the person you are \u201cGray Rocking,\u201d you should just cut them out of your life completely. Block their phone number. Block them on <a class=\"wpil_keyword_link\" href=\"https:\/\/www.blunt-therapy.com\/facebook-depression-a-simple-but-complete-guide\/\" title=\"social media\" data-wpil-keyword-link=\"linked\">social media<\/a>. Remove any other way they can get in touch with you. Never speak to them again.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>If this person is harmless, that may be all you need to do. However, if they are abusive, or you fear for your safety, then seek help. Get a restraining order, hire an attorney, or involve law enforcement.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>If you feel like the Gray Rock method is not working, there are a couple of things to remember:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul><li>If the toxic person gets upset, then Gray Rock is <em>actually <\/em>working. <\/li><\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p>They may just be ramping up their behavior to get a response from you. In this case, you may only need to wait it out. It may take longer, but they will eventually get bored.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul><li>You may not be able to cut contact permanently, but temporarily removing yourself from the situation if often the next best option.<\/li><\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p>And again, if this person is dangerous, seek help. This is critical.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>And as always, whether the Gray Rock Method is successful, please seek <a class=\"wpil_keyword_link\" title=\"therapy\" data-wpil-keyword-link=\"linked\" data-wpil=\"url\" href=\"https:\/\/www.blunt-therapy.com\/category\/therapy\/\">therapy<\/a> when you need it. It\u2019s important to have someone to talk to who can help guide you through these situations. <\/p>\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-ub-styled-box ub-styled-box ub-notification-box\" id=\"ub-styled-box-67252cc7-c750-4261-a880-579685247fce\">\n\n\n<h5 class=\"has-text-align-center wp-block-heading\" id=\"ub-styled-box-notification-content-\"><strong>Shop now at Amazon.com<\/strong><\/h5>\n\n\n\n<ul><li><em><a rel=\"noreferrer noopener\" target=\"_blank\" href=\"https:\/\/www.amazon.com\/gp\/product\/B08L9NHDBD\/ref=as_li_tl?ie=UTF8&amp;camp=1789&amp;creative=9325&amp;creativeASIN=B08L9NHDBD&amp;linkCode=as2&amp;tag=blunttherapy-20&amp;linkId=247b0c31d800edeca5c20fda9f4a90bc\">Sometimes Therapy Is Awkward : A Collection of Life-Changing Insights for the Modern Clinician<\/a><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"lazyload\" width=\"1\" height=\"1\" src=\"data:image\/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP\/\/\/yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7\" data-src=\"\/\/ir-na.amazon-adsystem.com\/e\/ir?t=blunttherapy-20&amp;l=am2&amp;o=1&amp;a=B08L9NHDBD\" alt=\"\"><noscript><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"lazyload\" width=\"1\" height=\"1\" src=\"\/\/ir-na.amazon-adsystem.com\/e\/ir?t=blunttherapy-20&amp;l=am2&amp;o=1&amp;a=B08L9NHDBD\" alt=\"\"><\/noscript><\/em><\/li><li><em><a rel=\"noreferrer noopener\" target=\"_blank\" href=\"https:\/\/www.amazon.com\/gp\/product\/1939754852\/ref=as_li_tl?ie=UTF8&amp;camp=1789&amp;creative=9325&amp;creativeASIN=1939754852&amp;linkCode=as2&amp;tag=blunttherapy-20&amp;linkId=7dda48936f5cccee0e0bff7b94d9f5d5\">Cognitive Behavioral Therapy Made Simple: 10 Strategies For Managing Anxiety, Depression, Anger, Panic, And Worry<\/a><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"lazyload\" width=\"1\" height=\"1\" src=\"data:image\/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP\/\/\/yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7\" data-src=\"\/\/ir-na.amazon-adsystem.com\/e\/ir?t=blunttherapy-20&amp;l=am2&amp;o=1&amp;a=1939754852\" alt=\"\"><noscript><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"lazyload\" width=\"1\" height=\"1\" src=\"\/\/ir-na.amazon-adsystem.com\/e\/ir?t=blunttherapy-20&amp;l=am2&amp;o=1&amp;a=1939754852\" alt=\"\"><\/noscript><\/em><\/li><\/ul>\n\n\n<\/div>\n\n\n<section class=\"wp-block-uagb-section uagb-section__wrap uagb-section__background-color uagb-block-540ad93d\"><div class=\"uagb-section__overlay\"><\/div><div class=\"uagb-section__inner-wrap\">\n<div class=\"wp-block-uagb-call-to-action uagb-block-73105e3b wp-block-button\"><div class=\"uagb-cta__wrap\"><h5 class=\"uagb-cta__title\">Private Practice  with No Overhead and No Shortage of Clients.<br><\/h5><p class=\"uagb-cta__desc\">Join\u00a0the more than 34,000 full and part-time therapists who are earning more with BetterHelp! Supplement your income, or build your own practice from scratch. Bonuses &amp; Incentives for High Performers! <strong>Sponsored Advertisement<\/strong><\/p><\/div><div class=\"uagb-cta__buttons\"><a href=\"https:\/\/hasofferstracking.betterhelp.com\/aff_c?offer_id=20&amp;aff_id=1614\" class=\"uagb-cta__button-link-wrapper wp-block-button__link\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">Join BetterHelp<\/a><\/div><\/div>\n<\/div><\/section>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"References_and_Research\"><\/span>References and Research<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h3>\n\n\n\n<ul><li><a href=\"https:\/\/www.healthline.com\/health\/grey-rock\" class=\"rank-math-link\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Gray Rock Method: 6 Tips and Techniques<\/a><\/li><li><a href=\"https:\/\/www.healthline.com\/health\/grey-rock\" class=\"rank-math-link\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Dealing With a Manipulative Person? Gray Rocking May Help<\/a><\/li><li><a href=\"https:\/\/www.psychologytoday.com\/us\/blog\/toxic-relationships\/201911\/the-price-and-payoff-gray-rock-strategy\" class=\"rank-math-link\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">The Price and Payoff of a Gray Rock Strategy<\/a><\/li><li><a href=\"https:\/\/180rule.com\/the-gray-rock-method-is-a-mental-model\/\" target=\"_blank\" aria-label=\"The Gray Rock Method is a Mental Model (opens in a new tab)\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\" class=\"rank-math-link\">The Gray Rock Method is a Mental Model<\/a><\/li><\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p><em>Special thanks to <a aria-label=\"Erin Hendrickson, LPC (opens in a new tab)\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\" href=\"http:\/\/www.evergreen-stl.com\/\" target=\"_blank\" class=\"rank-math-link\">Erin Hendrickson, LPC<\/a>, and <a aria-label=\"Dr. Ove Heradstveit, Ph.D. (opens in a new tab)\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\" href=\"http:\/\/www.helpseeker.net\/\" target=\"_blank\" class=\"rank-math-link\">Dr. Ove Heradstveit, Ph.D.<\/a> for contributing to this article.<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Setting boundaries with narcissists and other toxic people can be especially challenging. Learn why The Gray Rock Method might be your new secret weapon.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":34815,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","ub_ctt_via":"","_lmt_disableupdate":"no","_lmt_disable":"no","footnotes":""},"categories":[797],"tags":[907,803,903,972,17,859,19,52,809],"featured_image_src":"https:\/\/www.blunt-therapy.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/How-To-Use-The-Gray-Rock-Method-To-Deal-With-A-Narcissist.jpg","author_info":{"display_name":"Randy Withers, LCMHC","author_link":"https:\/\/www.blunt-therapy.com\/author\/randy-withers\/"},"modified_by":"Randy Withers, LCMHC","uagb_featured_image_src":{"full":["https:\/\/www.blunt-therapy.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/How-To-Use-The-Gray-Rock-Method-To-Deal-With-A-Narcissist.jpg",800,450,false],"thumbnail":["https:\/\/www.blunt-therapy.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/How-To-Use-The-Gray-Rock-Method-To-Deal-With-A-Narcissist-150x84.jpg",150,84,true],"medium":["https:\/\/www.blunt-therapy.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/How-To-Use-The-Gray-Rock-Method-To-Deal-With-A-Narcissist-200x113.jpg",200,113,true],"medium_large":["https:\/\/www.blunt-therapy.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/How-To-Use-The-Gray-Rock-Method-To-Deal-With-A-Narcissist-768x432.jpg",768,432,true],"large":["https:\/\/www.blunt-therapy.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/How-To-Use-The-Gray-Rock-Method-To-Deal-With-A-Narcissist-400x225.jpg",400,225,true],"1536x1536":["https:\/\/www.blunt-therapy.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/How-To-Use-The-Gray-Rock-Method-To-Deal-With-A-Narcissist.jpg",800,450,false],"2048x2048":["https:\/\/www.blunt-therapy.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/How-To-Use-The-Gray-Rock-Method-To-Deal-With-A-Narcissist.jpg",800,450,false],"tiny":["https:\/\/www.blunt-therapy.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/How-To-Use-The-Gray-Rock-Method-To-Deal-With-A-Narcissist.jpg",60,34,false],"thumbnail-medium":["https:\/\/www.blunt-therapy.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/How-To-Use-The-Gray-Rock-Method-To-Deal-With-A-Narcissist.jpg",480,270,false],"thumbnail-square":["https:\/\/www.blunt-therapy.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/How-To-Use-The-Gray-Rock-Method-To-Deal-With-A-Narcissist.jpg",480,270,false],"thumbnail-portrait":["https:\/\/www.blunt-therapy.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/How-To-Use-The-Gray-Rock-Method-To-Deal-With-A-Narcissist.jpg",480,270,false],"thumbnail-large":["https:\/\/www.blunt-therapy.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/How-To-Use-The-Gray-Rock-Method-To-Deal-With-A-Narcissist.jpg",720,405,false]},"uagb_author_info":{"display_name":"Randy Withers, LCMHC","author_link":"https:\/\/www.blunt-therapy.com\/author\/randy-withers\/"},"uagb_comment_info":0,"uagb_excerpt":"Setting boundaries with narcissists and other toxic people can be especially challenging. Learn why The Gray Rock Method might be your new secret weapon.","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.blunt-therapy.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/34804"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.blunt-therapy.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.blunt-therapy.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.blunt-therapy.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.blunt-therapy.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=34804"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.blunt-therapy.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/34804\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.blunt-therapy.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/34815"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.blunt-therapy.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=34804"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.blunt-therapy.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=34804"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.blunt-therapy.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=34804"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}