{"id":320,"date":"2020-07-12T12:45:48","date_gmt":"2020-07-12T16:45:48","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.randywithers.com\/?p=320---7a5a91e9-c10d-40c3-8d2a-81f0d27e75bc"},"modified":"2023-03-31T00:23:45","modified_gmt":"2023-03-31T04:23:45","slug":"dumb-platitudes-in-therapy","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.blunt-therapy.com\/dumb-platitudes-in-therapy\/","title":{"rendered":"9 Dumb Platitudes That Suck The Air Out of a Therapy Session"},"content":{"rendered":"<div id=\"ez-toc-container\" class=\"ez-toc-v2_0_65 counter-hierarchy ez-toc-counter ez-toc-custom ez-toc-container-direction\">\n<div class=\"ez-toc-title-container\">\n<p class=\"ez-toc-title \" >Table of Contents<\/p>\n<span class=\"ez-toc-title-toggle\"><\/span><\/div>\n<nav><ul class='ez-toc-list ez-toc-list-level-1 ' ><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-1\" href=\"https:\/\/www.blunt-therapy.com\/dumb-platitudes-in-therapy\/#What_Are_Platitudes\" title=\"What Are Platitudes?\">What Are Platitudes?<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-2\" href=\"https:\/\/www.blunt-therapy.com\/dumb-platitudes-in-therapy\/#9_Examples_Of_Dumb_Platitudes\" title=\"9 Examples Of Dumb Platitudes\">9 Examples Of Dumb Platitudes<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-3\" href=\"https:\/\/www.blunt-therapy.com\/dumb-platitudes-in-therapy\/#1_%E2%80%9CEverything_Happens_For_A_Reason%E2%80%9D\" title=\"1. \u201cEverything Happens For A Reason.\u201d\">1. \u201cEverything Happens For A Reason.\u201d<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-4\" href=\"https:\/\/www.blunt-therapy.com\/dumb-platitudes-in-therapy\/#2_%E2%80%9CIt_Is_What_It_Is%E2%80%9D\" title=\"2. \u201cIt Is What It Is.\u201d\">2. \u201cIt Is What It Is.\u201d<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-5\" href=\"https:\/\/www.blunt-therapy.com\/dumb-platitudes-in-therapy\/#3_%E2%80%9CGood_Things_Come_To_Those_Who_Wait%E2%80%9D\" title=\"3.&nbsp;\u201cGood Things Come To Those Who Wait\u201d\">3.&nbsp;\u201cGood Things Come To Those Who Wait\u201d<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-6\" href=\"https:\/\/www.blunt-therapy.com\/dumb-platitudes-in-therapy\/#4_%E2%80%9CTime_Heals_All_Wounds%E2%80%9D\" title=\"4. \u201cTime Heals All Wounds.\u201d\">4. \u201cTime Heals All Wounds.\u201d<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-7\" href=\"https:\/\/www.blunt-therapy.com\/dumb-platitudes-in-therapy\/#5_%E2%80%9CWhen_God_Closes_A_Door_He_Opens_A_Window%E2%80%9D\" title=\"5. \u201cWhen God Closes A Door, He Opens A Window\u201d\">5. \u201cWhen God Closes A Door, He Opens A Window\u201d<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-8\" href=\"https:\/\/www.blunt-therapy.com\/dumb-platitudes-in-therapy\/#6_%E2%80%9CThere_Are_Plenty_Of_Fish_In_The_Sea%E2%80%9D\" title=\"6. \u201cThere Are Plenty Of Fish In The Sea\u201d\">6. \u201cThere Are Plenty Of Fish In The Sea\u201d<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-9\" href=\"https:\/\/www.blunt-therapy.com\/dumb-platitudes-in-therapy\/#7_%E2%80%9CJust_Think_About_How_Much_Worse_Other_People_Have_It%E2%80%9D\" title=\"7. \u201cJust Think About How Much Worse Other People Have It\u201d\">7. \u201cJust Think About How Much Worse Other People Have It\u201d<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-10\" href=\"https:\/\/www.blunt-therapy.com\/dumb-platitudes-in-therapy\/#8_%E2%80%9CIt_Doesnt_Matter_If_You_Win_Or_Lose_It_Only_Matters_That_You_Tried%E2%80%9D\" title=\"8. &#8220;It Doesn\u2019t Matter If You Win Or Lose. It Only Matters That You Tried.&#8221;\">8. &#8220;It Doesn\u2019t Matter If You Win Or Lose. It Only Matters That You Tried.&#8221;<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-11\" href=\"https:\/\/www.blunt-therapy.com\/dumb-platitudes-in-therapy\/#9_%E2%80%9CWhat_Doesnt_Kill_Us_Makes_Us_Stronger%E2%80%9D\" title=\"9. &#8220;What Doesn\u2019t Kill Us Makes Us Stronger&#8221;\">9. &#8220;What Doesn\u2019t Kill Us Makes Us Stronger&#8221;<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-12\" href=\"https:\/\/www.blunt-therapy.com\/dumb-platitudes-in-therapy\/#What_To_Say_Instead\" title=\"What To Say Instead\">What To Say Instead<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-13\" href=\"https:\/\/www.blunt-therapy.com\/dumb-platitudes-in-therapy\/#Final_Thoughts\" title=\"Final Thoughts\">Final Thoughts<\/a><ul class='ez-toc-list-level-3' ><li class='ez-toc-heading-level-3'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-14\" href=\"https:\/\/www.blunt-therapy.com\/dumb-platitudes-in-therapy\/#References\" title=\"References\">References<\/a><\/li><\/ul><\/li><\/ul><\/nav><\/div>\n\n<p>This post is about the dangers of using platitudes. I originally wrote this article <a href=\"https:\/\/www.blunt-therapy.com\/betterhelp-is-hiring-online-counselors\/\" class=\"rank-math-link\">for my fellow therapists<\/a>, but it&#8217;s good advice for everyone. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>After all, what is therapy if not effective communication?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>In psychotherapy, effective communication is critical. A well-chosen word can strengthen a therapeutic relationship. Words help establish rapport, demonstrate empathy, and build trust.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>In short, what a therapist says&nbsp;<em>matters<\/em>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Poorly chosen words can stop a session dead in its tracks. So let\u2019s talk about the dangers of using platitudes, why they are so annoying, and what to say instead.<\/p>\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-image\">\n<figure class=\"aligncenter size-full is-resized\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" src=\"data:image\/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP\/\/\/yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7\" data-src=\"https:\/\/www.blunt-therapy.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/9-Dumb-Platitudes-That-Suck-The-Air-out-of-Therapy.jpg\" alt=\"9 Dumb Platitudes That Suck The Air out of Therapy\" class=\"wp-image-30171 lazyload\" width=\"368\" height=\"551\"\/><noscript><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/www.blunt-therapy.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/9-Dumb-Platitudes-That-Suck-The-Air-out-of-Therapy.jpg\" alt=\"9 Dumb Platitudes That Suck The Air out of Therapy\" class=\"wp-image-30171 lazyload\" width=\"368\" height=\"551\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.blunt-therapy.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/9-Dumb-Platitudes-That-Suck-The-Air-out-of-Therapy.jpg 735w, https:\/\/www.blunt-therapy.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/9-Dumb-Platitudes-That-Suck-The-Air-out-of-Therapy-83x125.jpg 83w, https:\/\/www.blunt-therapy.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/9-Dumb-Platitudes-That-Suck-The-Air-out-of-Therapy-200x300.jpg 200w, https:\/\/www.blunt-therapy.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/9-Dumb-Platitudes-That-Suck-The-Air-out-of-Therapy-150x225.jpg 150w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 368px) 100vw, 368px\" \/><\/noscript><figcaption class=\"wp-element-caption\">9 Dumb Platitudes That Suck The Air out of Therapy<\/figcaption><\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"d780\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"What_Are_Platitudes\"><\/span>What Are Platitudes?<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>Here is the generally agreed-upon definition of \u201cplatitude\u201d according to Merriam-Webster:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<blockquote class=\"wp-block-quote is-layout-flow wp-block-quote-is-layout-flow\">\n<p><em>Platitude: 1. the quality or state of being dull or insipid. 2. a banal, trite, or stale remark.<\/em><\/p>\n<cite><em>Merriam-Webster<\/em><\/cite><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>A platitude is cheap<\/strong>. It\u2019s a throwaway statement, one well-meaning people use when they don\u2019t know what else to say. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>It\u2019s not that people who use them are heartless, but&nbsp;platitudes have a way of angering those on the receiving end. They don\u2019t build trust, nor do they demonstrate empathy. Most people think they are useless sentiments.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Dumb platitudes<\/strong> are not always a problem in everyday conversations. If you\u2019re chatting with the checkout girl, use them with reckless abandon.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>But in an emotional session, where a client is grieving or <a href=\"https:\/\/www.blunt-therapy.com\/why-am-i-still-depressed\/\" class=\"rank-math-link\">depressed <\/a>or recounting a trauma, platitudes are just straight-up offensive.&nbsp;They are condescending, silly, and reductive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Don\u2019t use them. Ever. Your clients will just angry at you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-background\" style=\"background-color:#f0f8ff\"><a class=\"thirstylink\" rel=\"nofollow rel=&quot;sponsored&quot;\" target=\"_blank\" title=\"BetterHelp For Therapists\" href=\"https:\/\/www.blunt-therapy.com\/recommends\/betterhelp-for-therapists\/\" data-shortcode=\"true\"><strong>Are you a licensed therapist? Did you know that BetterHelp is hiring?<\/strong><\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"b76f\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"9_Examples_Of_Dumb_Platitudes\"><\/span>9 Examples Of Dumb Platitudes<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>You\u2019ve heard every example on this list, but that\u2019s kinda the point. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Like a clich\u00e9, they are unoriginal and offer nothing new. They are empty. They are banal. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>They are what people say when they have no idea what else to say. They are so dumb that the phrase \u201cdumb platitudes\u201d is redundant.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Sometimes silence is the best option in&nbsp;<a rel=\"noreferrer noopener\" href=\"https:\/\/www.blunt-therapy.com\/betterhelp-counseling-review\/\" target=\"_blank\" class=\"rank-math-link\"><strong>psychotherapy<\/strong><\/a>.&nbsp;A poorly-voiced platitude is a therapeutic equivalent of burping at the dinner table.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>If you want to help, it\u2019s a good idea to avoid them. These 9 are particularly cringe-inducing.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"1c84\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"1_%E2%80%9CEverything_Happens_For_A_Reason%E2%80%9D\"><\/span>1. \u201cEverything Happens For A Reason.\u201d<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>Absolute statements are almost always wrong, so right off the bat, we see a platitude that is based on a <a href=\"https:\/\/www.blunt-therapy.com\/a-therapists-guide-to-cognitive-distortions\/\" class=\"rank-math-link\">cognitive distortion<\/a>.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>It assumes that free will doesn\u2019t exist, and that&nbsp;meaning can be found in every terrible thing that happens.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>This is wishful thinking at its worst. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"35bb\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"2_%E2%80%9CIt_Is_What_It_Is%E2%80%9D\"><\/span>2. \u201cIt Is What It Is.\u201d<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>A nonsense statement if ever one existed.&nbsp;It implies we are&nbsp;powerless to&nbsp;<a rel=\"noreferrer noopener\" href=\"https:\/\/www.blunt-therapy.com\/manifestation-magic-law-of-attraction-review\/\" target=\"_blank\" class=\"rank-math-link\">change our circumstances<\/a>.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Do you suppose that sentiment is a good idea to promote in a <a href=\"https:\/\/www.blunt-therapy.com\/category\/therapy\/\">therapy<\/a> session? <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>And more importantly, how do dumb platitudes like this one <a href=\"https:\/\/www.blunt-therapy.com\/how-to-get-results-in-therapy\/\" class=\"rank-math-link\">facilitate change<\/a> or strengthen the therapeutic relationship?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"8b61\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"3_%E2%80%9CGood_Things_Come_To_Those_Who_Wait%E2%80%9D\"><\/span>3.&nbsp;\u201cGood Things Come To Those Who Wait\u201d<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>This is another nonsense lie, and thus easily disproved. Sometimes great things happen to impulsive people.&nbsp;Sometimes good things never come no matter how long you wait.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>And what, exactly, is the relationship between wait-time and the relative goodness of a thing?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Yes, this statement does have a positive side to it. It\u2019s extolling the virtues of patience. I get that. It\u2019s just that it\u2019s rarely true.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>But one of the big problems with a statement like \u201cgood things come to those who wait\u201d is that it doesn\u2019t encourage action. And <a href=\"https:\/\/www.blunt-therapy.com\/hard-lessons-about-fighting-depression\/\" class=\"rank-math-link\">action is necessary for change<\/a>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"baf2\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"4_%E2%80%9CTime_Heals_All_Wounds%E2%80%9D\"><\/span>4. \u201cTime Heals All Wounds.\u201d<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>This one is not exactly reassuring, especially to someone who has lost a loved one or been through a divorce.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>As with so many other platitudes, it suggests that there is nothing we can do about our present situation.&nbsp;And again I say that this is a foolish idea to promote in&nbsp;<a rel=\"noreferrer noopener\" href=\"https:\/\/www.blunt-therapy.com\/questions-to-ask-your-therapist\/\" target=\"_blank\" class=\"rank-math-link\">therapy<\/a>, the whole purpose of which is to affect change.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>The fact is, <a href=\"https:\/\/www.blunt-therapy.com\/people-who-are-broken\/\" class=\"rank-math-link\">trauma has a way of changing people<\/a>. Go through a <a class=\"rank-math-link\" href=\"https:\/\/www.blunt-therapy.com\/she-asked-for-a-divorce-on-thanksgiving\/\">bad divorce<\/a> or lose a child or survive sexual abuse and&nbsp;you\u2019ll question whether or not time does, in fact, heal all wounds.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>I suppose it depends on what you mean be \u201cheal\u201d and also what you define as a \u201cwound.\u201d&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>If an experience alters who you are, do you ever really heal from it?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"7ffd\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"5_%E2%80%9CWhen_God_Closes_A_Door_He_Opens_A_Window%E2%80%9D\"><\/span>5. \u201cWhen God Closes A Door, He Opens A Window\u201d<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>If you are speaking to a\u00a0person of faith, then this one might not be a disaster. It might actually help a client to adjust their point of view.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Just don\u2019t assume that everyone believes in God.&nbsp;Or that everyone is reassured by this sentiment.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Clients with <a href=\"https:\/\/www.blunt-therapy.com\/alcohol-abuse-in-zambia\/\" class=\"rank-math-link\">substance abuse issues<\/a> are quite likely to be enraged by dumb platitudes like this one. People don\u2019t come into recovery when everything is going fine. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Usually, they have either lost everything or facing the threat of losing everything. Often they are openly hostile to God, as many feel as if they have been abandoned by Him.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>While it\u2019s nice to be positive and hopeful about the future, it&#8217;s better to be realistic.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-embed is-type-video is-provider-youtube wp-block-embed-youtube wp-embed-aspect-16-9 wp-has-aspect-ratio\"><div class=\"wp-block-embed__wrapper\">\nhttps:\/\/youtu.be\/m0ewlh4Aiuw\n<\/div><figcaption class=\"wp-element-caption\">Courtesy, YouTube<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"43c4\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"6_%E2%80%9CThere_Are_Plenty_Of_Fish_In_The_Sea%E2%80%9D\"><\/span>6. \u201cThere Are Plenty Of Fish In The Sea\u201d<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>The obvious problem with this one is the false equivalence going on there. Comparing fish to a romantic partner is silly.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>It&#8217;s also not true. While twenty-somethings are able to cast their net into a vast and teeming ocean, the proverbial well dries up the older you get. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>As is often the case with platitudes, the sentiment is\u2026. okay, I guess. Yes, <a class=\"wpil_keyword_link\" data-wpil=\"url\" href=\"https:\/\/www.blunt-therapy.com\/category\/relationships\/\" title=\"relationships\" data-wpil-keyword-link=\"linked\">relationships<\/a> come and go, and if one ends there are plenty of others from which to choose. It\u2019s just that there are far better ways to go about saying that.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"6b9b\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"7_%E2%80%9CJust_Think_About_How_Much_Worse_Other_People_Have_It%E2%80%9D\"><\/span>7. \u201cJust Think About How Much Worse Other People Have It\u201d<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>This one\u00a0assumes that human suffering is a competition.\u00a0That somehow knowing that other people suffer makes our suffering less intense.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>It\u2019s a sentiment that is condescending and thoughtless.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"0690\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"8_%E2%80%9CIt_Doesnt_Matter_If_You_Win_Or_Lose_It_Only_Matters_That_You_Tried%E2%80%9D\"><\/span>8. &#8220;It Doesn\u2019t Matter If You Win Or Lose. It Only Matters That You Tried.&#8221;<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>This one assumes that the point is to win or lose.&nbsp;Life is not a game, nor should it be treated as such. The problem with&nbsp;this one is that it is dismissive and reductive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>And in situations where the concept of winning and losing is valid, it actually does matter whether you win or lose. To suggest otherwise is naive.<\/p>\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-image\">\n<figure class=\"aligncenter size-full\"><a href=\"https:\/\/www.betterhelp.com\/cref\/342ee11a651f93df79adb7128a991841\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"sponsored, nofollow noopener\"><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"data:image\/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP\/\/\/yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7\" data-src=\"https:\/\/www.blunt-therapy.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/BetterHelp-online-counselor-recruitment.jpg\" alt=\"BetterHelp online counselor recruitment\" class=\"wp-image-32554 lazyload\"\/><noscript><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"728\" height=\"167\" src=\"https:\/\/www.blunt-therapy.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/BetterHelp-online-counselor-recruitment.jpg\" alt=\"BetterHelp online counselor recruitment\" class=\"wp-image-32554 lazyload\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.blunt-therapy.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/BetterHelp-online-counselor-recruitment.jpg 728w, https:\/\/www.blunt-therapy.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/BetterHelp-online-counselor-recruitment-200x46.jpg 200w, https:\/\/www.blunt-therapy.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/BetterHelp-online-counselor-recruitment-400x92.jpg 400w, https:\/\/www.blunt-therapy.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/BetterHelp-online-counselor-recruitment-150x34.jpg 150w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 728px) 100vw, 728px\" \/><\/noscript><\/a><\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"9316\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"9_%E2%80%9CWhat_Doesnt_Kill_Us_Makes_Us_Stronger%E2%80%9D\"><\/span>9. &#8220;What Doesn\u2019t Kill Us Makes Us Stronger&#8221;<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>Another platitude that is sometimes true, but often false. <a rel=\"noreferrer noopener\" href=\"https:\/\/www.blunt-therapy.com\/people-who-are-broken\/\" target=\"_blank\"><\/a><a rel=\"noreferrer noopener\" href=\"https:\/\/www.blunt-therapy.com\/people-who-are-broken\/\" target=\"_blank\" class=\"rank-math-link\">Trauma and abuse can ruin people<\/a>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Yes, we can learn how to grow from bad experiences, but this is not always the case. Consider a client who is facing terminal cancer. Would you say this to them?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"b35c\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"What_To_Say_Instead\"><\/span>What To Say Instead<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>In typical interpersonal relationships, platitudes are at best a mild annoyance. <a class=\"rank-math-link\" href=\"https:\/\/www.blunt-therapy.com\/how-to-get-results-in-therapy\/\">In therapy<\/a>, they are at best unproductive and often harmful.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>If you find yourself in a difficult session, don\u2019t be afraid to fall back on your training.&nbsp;<a rel=\"noreferrer noopener\" href=\"https:\/\/www.blunt-therapy.com\/active-listening-skills\/\" target=\"_blank\" class=\"rank-math-link\">Use your active listening skills.<\/a>&nbsp;Paraphrase, summarize, reflect. Ask open-ended questions.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Don\u2019t be afraid to use silence. In casual conversations, silence can be awkward. In therapy, it can be powerful.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Rather than filling the space with empty words, let the silence speak for you instead. Use it as a time to reflect. Use it to enhance the sense of immediacy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>If you don\u2019t know what to say, it\u2019s okay to tell a client that you don\u2019t have the words. Remember, therapists are not supposed to fix problems, nor are we expected to <a href=\"https:\/\/www.blunt-therapy.com\/questions-you-want-to-ask-your-therapist\/\" class=\"rank-math-link\">have all the answers<\/a>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Our role is to offer unconditional positive regard.&nbsp;Platitudes undermine our ability to do this.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"945c\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Final_Thoughts\"><\/span>Final Thoughts<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>This isn\u2019t an exhaustive list of platitudes. There are times when their use is helpful in social situations, though I am loath to think of any. Perhaps there is.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>But remember: communication is an art, and art has little use for banality.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><a rel=\"noreferrer noopener\" class=\"rank-math-link\" href=\"https:\/\/www.goodtherapy.org\/famous-psychologists\/carl-rogers.html\" target=\"_blank\">Carl Rogers&nbsp;<\/a>said there were three essential \u201cingredients\u201d in a <a class=\"rank-math-link\" href=\"https:\/\/www.blunt-therapy.com\/questions-you-want-to-ask-your-therapist\/\">therapeutic relationship<\/a>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul>\n<li>The first is \u201cunconditional positive regard,\u201d meaning that you show your support by affirming a client\u2019s self-worth.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>The second is \u201cgenuineness,\u201d meaning that you are the person you are presenting to the client.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>The third is \u201cempathy,\u201d which is the ability to understand and share the feelings of another.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p>Platitudes minimize the very real anguish that the client feels. They are cliche and thus disingenuous. And platitudes are about as empathetic as wet cardboard.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>If you&#8217;re in need of quality, <a href=\"https:\/\/www.blunt-therapy.com\/mental-health-products-and-services\/affordable-online-therapy\/\" class=\"rank-math-link\">affordable online<\/a> counseling, I both recommend and use a platform called <a class=\"thirstylink\" rel=\"nofollow rel=&quot;sponsored&quot;\" target=\"_blank\" title=\"BetterHelp\" href=\"https:\/\/www.blunt-therapy.com\/recommends\/betterhelp\/\" data-shortcode=\"true\">BetterHelp<\/a>. Readers of my <a title=\"blog\" data-wpil-keyword-link=\"linked\" href=\"https:\/\/www.blunt-therapy.com\/how-to-start-a-mental-health-blog\/\" class=\"rank-math-link\">blog<\/a> get a 10% discount when they sign up. You can use it for as long as you want and cancel any time. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Try it today. You&#8217;ll be glad you did.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<section class=\"wp-block-uagb-section uagb-section__wrap uagb-section__background-color uagb-block-540ad93d\"><div class=\"uagb-section__overlay\"><\/div><div class=\"uagb-section__inner-wrap\">\n<div class=\"wp-block-uagb-call-to-action uagb-block-73105e3b wp-block-button\"><div class=\"uagb-cta__wrap\"><h5 class=\"uagb-cta__title\">Private Practice  with No Overhead and No Shortage of Clients.<br><\/h5><p class=\"uagb-cta__desc\">Join\u00a0the more than 34,000 full and part-time therapists who are earning more with BetterHelp! Supplement your income, or build your own practice from scratch. Bonuses &amp; Incentives for High Performers! <strong>Sponsored Advertisement<\/strong><\/p><\/div><div class=\"uagb-cta__buttons\"><a href=\"https:\/\/hasofferstracking.betterhelp.com\/aff_c?offer_id=20&amp;aff_id=1614\" class=\"uagb-cta__button-link-wrapper wp-block-button__link\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">Join BetterHelp<\/a><\/div><\/div>\n<\/div><\/section>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"references\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"References\"><\/span>References<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h3>\n\n\n\n<ul>\n<li><a aria-label=\" (opens in a new tab)\" href=\"https:\/\/www.headspace.com\/blog\/2017\/12\/26\/useless-platitudes\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\" class=\"rank-math-link\">10 useless platitudes to stop saying this year<\/a><\/li>\n\n\n\n<li><a href=\"https:\/\/communicatingacrossboundariesblog.com\/2015\/09\/28\/stupid-phrases-for-people-in-crisis\/\" class=\"rank-math-link\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Stupid Phrases for People in Crisis<\/a><\/li>\n\n\n\n<li><a aria-label=\" (opens in a new tab)\" href=\"https:\/\/www.psychologytoday.com\/us\/blog\/tech-support\/201512\/5-things-you-have-stop-saying-people-you-care-about\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\" class=\"rank-math-link\">5 Things You Have to Stop Saying to People You Care About<\/a><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>A platitude is cheap. It\u2019s a throwaway statement, one well-meaning people use when they don\u2019t know what else to say. But platitudes have a way of angering those on the receiving end.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":31048,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","ub_ctt_via":"","_lmt_disableupdate":"no","_lmt_disable":"no","footnotes":""},"categories":[781],"tags":[810,789,972,29,30],"featured_image_src":"https:\/\/www.blunt-therapy.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/9-Platitudes-That-Suck-The-Air-out-of-Therapy.jpg","author_info":{"display_name":"Randy Withers, LCMHC","author_link":"https:\/\/www.blunt-therapy.com\/author\/randy-withers\/"},"modified_by":"Randy Withers, LCMHC","uagb_featured_image_src":{"full":["https:\/\/www.blunt-therapy.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/9-Platitudes-That-Suck-The-Air-out-of-Therapy.jpg",800,450,false],"thumbnail":["https:\/\/www.blunt-therapy.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/9-Platitudes-That-Suck-The-Air-out-of-Therapy-150x84.jpg",150,84,true],"medium":["https:\/\/www.blunt-therapy.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/9-Platitudes-That-Suck-The-Air-out-of-Therapy-200x113.jpg",200,113,true],"medium_large":["https:\/\/www.blunt-therapy.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/9-Platitudes-That-Suck-The-Air-out-of-Therapy-768x432.jpg",768,432,true],"large":["https:\/\/www.blunt-therapy.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/9-Platitudes-That-Suck-The-Air-out-of-Therapy-400x225.jpg",400,225,true],"1536x1536":["https:\/\/www.blunt-therapy.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/9-Platitudes-That-Suck-The-Air-out-of-Therapy.jpg",800,450,false],"2048x2048":["https:\/\/www.blunt-therapy.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/9-Platitudes-That-Suck-The-Air-out-of-Therapy.jpg",800,450,false],"tiny":["https:\/\/www.blunt-therapy.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/9-Platitudes-That-Suck-The-Air-out-of-Therapy.jpg",60,34,false],"thumbnail-medium":["https:\/\/www.blunt-therapy.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/9-Platitudes-That-Suck-The-Air-out-of-Therapy.jpg",480,270,false],"thumbnail-square":["https:\/\/www.blunt-therapy.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/9-Platitudes-That-Suck-The-Air-out-of-Therapy.jpg",480,270,false],"thumbnail-portrait":["https:\/\/www.blunt-therapy.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/9-Platitudes-That-Suck-The-Air-out-of-Therapy.jpg",480,270,false],"thumbnail-large":["https:\/\/www.blunt-therapy.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/9-Platitudes-That-Suck-The-Air-out-of-Therapy.jpg",720,405,false]},"uagb_author_info":{"display_name":"Randy Withers, LCMHC","author_link":"https:\/\/www.blunt-therapy.com\/author\/randy-withers\/"},"uagb_comment_info":11,"uagb_excerpt":"A platitude is cheap. It\u2019s a throwaway statement, one well-meaning people use when they don\u2019t know what else to say. But platitudes have a way of angering those on the receiving end.","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.blunt-therapy.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/320"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.blunt-therapy.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.blunt-therapy.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.blunt-therapy.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.blunt-therapy.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=320"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.blunt-therapy.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/320\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.blunt-therapy.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/31048"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.blunt-therapy.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=320"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.blunt-therapy.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=320"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.blunt-therapy.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=320"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}